Happy Blogging

So I've decided two things:

1: I need to attract some followers

2: In order to do said attracting I must A: Blog on a regular basis and B: Not have a blog whose appearance sucks

In the spirit of afore mentioned ideas I have spent the last few hours upgrading Miss Amber Lane Take On The Universe by adding a much more "me" layout and tons of photos and searching for blogs that I enjoy and may in turn enjoy mine a big Hi to those of you who may stumble over to my page wondering: "who is this Miss Amber Lane whoring herself out for followers?" Really I'm not I wouldn't have started following if i wasn't genuinely interested in your blogs!!!

I used to blog at Xanga and had some very loyal readers- but college ended,people got real jobs (as did I) and gradually everyone began to fell away- so I stopped blogging too....it was no fun with no one reading and commenting- I'm hoping for a new start here- so I'm being proactive!

That being said:

Christmas was good, went by way too fast especially since I volunteered to work a few hours as manager on duty Christmas Day and was manager on duty the Saturday and Sunday following Christmas. Now its Monday and I am off (because I worked all weekend). I work Tuesday and Wednesday, then have a glorious 4 day weekend to ring in the new year!

We aren't going out with a big group this year- just one other couple to a party at a club near-by. We will probably also stop by my friend's house for a drink or two but not stay too long- I'm all about the glitz and the glamour when it comes to New Years so sitting around playing cards to ring in 2009 isn't really my cup of tea. So club it is!

Anyhow- I'm off to Party City to procure favors for said New Years Eve.

Until Next Time!

A Time To Celebrate-A Time To Whine

So today my best friend announced that she is engaged. 

He proposed last night in a non cerimonious way---but none-the-less engaged they are.

I'm happy for her because she is happy. She said tonight whilst we were sprawled across their bed discussing dates, bridesmaids dresses, and colors -that she is ready to be married, ready to be a wife, and to start a family (she also said she wanted to break bread-to which I asked her if she wanted to be Jesus and if every night would be like the last supper in her house) so I know that she is ready and that she is happy and very excited. 

On the other hand however- and you knew I was going to say it- I have an undeniable pang of .... I don't know what it is really--frustration, envy, loss, left out-edness ( I know there is no such word). I feel like my life just isn't progressing- with the exception of adding more cats to our home---(is it possible to become the crazy cat lady if you live with your boyfriend? Does the testosteron negate the cats?).  I'm ready for those things too....but it seems that he will never be----we will be together 5 years in February and I've known since about month 6 that what Ben and I have is special--and we've proved that we are....but how should it make me feel after just KNOWING for so long---that he's still not sure enough about me? 

I don't know. What I do know is that I sound like a big whiner. So I'm going to go. 

Just having a quiet moment with Rennie. She had found herself a comfy spot. ( : Happy Sunday!

Fuuuuuuuuck.

So last week I received a love letter in the mail from my dear friend, The Federal Government aka: Direct Loan Servicing Center, announcing that in June the "economic hardhip" deferment (aka I'm out of college and still don't have a job mercy break)which I requested prior to this job when I was making a meager $11.25 an hour at a thankless job, will be coming to a screeching halt and I will be forced to resume making payments. Not that this tidbit isn't disheartening enough-but they have also decided based on my income (gross, not net) that I can afford $300.00 a month in payments!

WTF Mate?

This is without even calculating my other expenses- not even the very basic ones such as rent, utilities, or gas.

In a nutshell my monthly living expenses are as follows:

$165-every two weeks for my car payment...(yes I bought there paid there in college and am paying for it royally now)= $330
$300= rent split with Ben
$150= utilities split with Ben
$184= car insurance
$200= gas
$150 = food
$ 81= credit card
$100= other lower limit credit cards
$50= Alternative Student Loan
$1545.00 a month

Let's see- I net about $900 every two weeks (not bad-not great). Meaning I bring home about 1800.00 a month

1800- 1545= 245........WHERE THE FUCK IS $300 DOLLARS COMING FROM TO PAY THEM?!?!

Oh- and here's the kicker- I am JUST NOW eligible for health benefits...so what happens when they start taking those out too?

I mean seriously- I went to college to make more money...while other friends went to trade school or started working right out of the shoot and have worked their way to almost the same pay that I started at- yet they don't have college debt. So where's the trade off? Why did I go to college?

If DLS doesn't allow me to make changes to my loan payment amount I will not only not have money to pay them back but also won't ever be able to buy new clothes, shoes, underwear, toiletries- not even the essentials- but also won't be able to service my car, pay for repairs, have an emergency, plan a wedding, buy a house, get married, have a baby---nothing! Where is the break down here?

Before I freak too much I'm going to go- maybe I should call DLS before I have a hissy fit- they HAVE to change this- how else would it work?

And I also have to pose the question- if Ben and I didn't live together and split rent and utilities how would I even live?

GULP.

Being Happy For Others

This week brought with it the birth of a beautiful baby girl to one of my dear friends: One Miss Julie Adams. Almost one year to the date that her wedding was called off by her reluctant fiance, Julie welcomed Jaylen Faith a gift bestowed upon her by her rebound lover a deadbeat thirty something who for lack of a more sophisticated term: sucks. 

I journeyed north west to  visit the blessed child in the town of my college alma mater yesterday at the home of Julie's parents. The visit was short and surprisingly awkward as Julie's c-section merited the use of percoset and she was aptly under its influence. I brought a gift that sat still- wrapped at the foot of her recliner through the entirety of my visit, held the baby who was bundled tight in a soft pink blanket- chubby cheeks lightly flushed and making those precious baby noises that make even the most child-cynic female yern for preocreation, made polite chit-chat with lurking family members-who were not worthy of the "polite" part (more on that in a moment), then politely excused myself claiming that I was concerned that Julie get all the rest she needs. And baby, I was gone. 

I left feeling as though I could cry at a moment and it wasn't because I was overcome with joy for my friend. It was more a feeling of loss. Sitting in that living room with my friend of 7 years I felt insignficant. It didn't really matter that I was there, or what I had to say. It didn't matter how far I came to be there or any of the history she and I had as friends. It was all about Julie's life change, Julie's history, Julie's baby. 

PAUSE.

Now I know this sounds like I'm jealous of the baby- and believe me I DO think these things should be celebrated and that my friends deserve the attention but I also think its important to acknowledge that those of us who aren't celebrating a marriage or a baby still have feelings and  accomplishments worth celebration too---but these things pale in the shining glory of all the weddings and baby showers-whilst at the same time we are  mourning the loss of friends who are trading in bars and bed hopping for bling and baby bjorns. I think what I'm trying to say is: its a lot harder than I ever would have dreamed to be on the "losing" side of the domestic bliss hurddle. 

I'm tired of losing girl's nights out because my gf's can't part with new bfs. I'm tired of blowing hundreds of dollars on shower presents, flowers, cards, balloons, outfits, penis gifts, bridesmaids dresses, hair appointments, etc, etc, etc for friends who are so wrapped up in their life choices to even remember to buy me a shot on my birthday- or for that matter even show up to the bar.  It's EXHAUSTING to celebrate each and every milestone in each and every friend's lives when no one celebrates yours. What if I never get married or have babies (not saying I don't want to- just what if I don't) does that mean no one ever has to celebrate me? 

I know that Carrie Bradshaw went through this in season 6 with the stolen strappy sandals- to which she remedied the situation by marrying herself and registering at Manolo Blahnik- but this is a real-to-life dilemma- when married/babified friends fail to acknowledge that single friend's lives,jobs, new homes, promotions are just as important in a different respect as husbands and babies it just leaves one feeling, well, in my case: petulant, spoiled, frustrated, and at times mayhaps even a little, dare I say it? Left out. 

Hmph. Admitting that is like swallowing a martini full of broken glass but I suppose its the adult thing to do. 

Now I know that Julie is probably catching the brunt of this simply because I have endured  a seemingly endless string of engagement announcements, bridal showers, weddings, and pregnancies over the last year. She is my friend, Nothing will change that. I just felt like these things I've been thinking were worth noting and I'm sure that I'm not alone on this. 

Alright...before I sound even more like a spoiled brat I bid you farewell.

Tonight I'm Feeling: Petulant, spoiled, frustrated, and left out. 

Today is a day in which I can rejoice!

Today our area manager announced that our executive director is hitting the road! he tried to put a positive spin on the change stating that RM (aka exec. direct) has done all that she can do in our community and she is moving on to another community to continue flipping communities. We all know that she has been relocated because her "rule with an iron fist" , non compassionate, micro- management style has torn our coordinator team apart.

I honestly could not be happier.

Viva la transition!

Now Project Runway!

Miss Amber Lane

The Source of My Anxiety

I'm not at all ashamed to admit that the source of my "anxiety" - if that's what it is that I'm suffering from, is none other than the fault of my bf. Imagine being 4 years + into a relationship and knowing full well that you would be completely happy spending the rest of your life with that person, only to have them tell you that they don't think they EVER want to get married....to anyone....EVER. But their not sure so hold on tight as they drag your ass around for another X amount of years. But imagine being the dumb ass that lets that happen. That agrees to house hunt with him, move into this house (when its all finalized) and to still dream that maybe his love for you will outlast the bull shit that's keeping him from saying he doesn't ever want to get married. Imagine that you have seen good friends meet guys, fall in love, be proposed to, and get married all in less than the time that you've been with your significant other and how much that feels like a kick in the face every time you think about it and that after the better part of five years he's still not sure about you and there you have the perfect recipe for a quarter life crisis and thus my anxiety. I love him, I really do. And I'm sure about him- but I'm ready for the next phase of life.

I know its supposed to be very modern to not marry until mid thirties and focus on your career and all that bruhaha but I'm a little more old fashioned than that. I want to get married, I want to have kids and I don't want to be approaching forty when I do. And although it may insult some for me to say this but I don't think I could sustain this relationship knowing that marriage and a family is NEVER an option. Why should I have to compromise my heart's desire when it means so much to me? And then again why should he?

My final word on this matter for tonight is simply this; when it comes to nearly all issues of the heart in love and relationships, compromise is generally the way to go. In regards to this matter however, there will be no compromise. If our opinions and desires defer here we WILL go our separate ways- not in bitterness ( I hope) but because our lives just took two different paths. It's sad, I know. But I don't know how much longer I can hold out for the unknown. How long do you give a man to decide your the one? Especially when you feel that this is the very reason why at times you begin to pull away?

I don't know the answers to these questions yet but I do know I'll follow my heart in the end.

This post just further proves that I need to stay away from Theknot.com

Sigh

G'night

Miss Amber Lane

I Am Tired

My least favorite phrase right now is, "You are too young to be tired."

Exuse' Moi?

I'm too young to be tired? Well- great! Thank you so much for telling me that I'm too young to be tired. Now I can really focus on what's important and apparently sleep is not one of those things. Gosh, can you imagine how much more I will be able to accomplish in a single day, week, month now that I know I can eliminate sleep from my schedule?!?! It will be fantastic!

Bullshit.

That little gem comes from one of the concierges at my place of employment whom has taken note on more than one occasion that I am frequently tired.

"You're always tired. Your too young to be tired."

Oh ok. I've had one day off in a 14 day span- of which I spent cleaning my house (while pissing around intermittently) I am working a job that requires one coordinator (moi) and one assistant of which I haven't had in over a week now. I don't have enough time to even stop for lunch during the day so the first time I eat on any given day is around 7:30. On top of that I commute 45 minutes to and from work which is a taxing experience all on its own----plus I haven't had a vacation since college---and I don't mean going somewhere---I mean more than two or three days where my presence is not required at work. Plus even when I was still in college I worked full time + some + a full course load + an internship....and I don't have the right to be tired. You can kiss my lilly white ass!

And I love how this bit of wisdom comes from an employee who works part time and whose job is performed 95% of the time while sitting on her duff. I loathe how the old (er) feel that they are the only ones entitled to being tired. Its just like when my papaw used to tell me I was too young for headaches- oh ok papaw tell that to my throbbing head.

Grrr.

Breathe and reboot.

I know I sound grouchy but really today was not an unpleasant day. Business as usual on the work front with an added meeting for our area manager to tell all the coordinators how much our team members hate us- well not so much me seeing how as I've only been there four months and until I have a new assistant I don't have any staff that reports directly to me just staff who are assigned to my scheduled activities. Honestly I'm glad our team members have negative things to say- it tells me I'm not crazy or judgmental for thinking that some members of the coordinator team are A: unprofessional B: two faced. Maybe this is the start of something good- or at least better. For the most part though I'm not worried about the other coordinators. I worry about the residence that I serve and creating activity programming that will enrich their lives. That's first for me. So I try to focus my energies on that and the rest melts away.

I'm just endlessly amazed at how much drama and juvenile horse hockey there is in the "adult world"- I'm beginning to think that there is no "adult world" just an older version of high school. Am I alone here or do others see that as well?

After work I picked up the bf from his respective place of employment and we went to the grocery to pick up a few weekly necessaries such as milk, eggs, and bread. I tried to convince the bf that chocolate silk pie made with love by Sara Lee was a necessary but no luck.

Came home, made dinner, watched dvr'dJon and Kate, painted toe nails, cleaned "my room" (aka the guest room that we still haven't gotten a bed for that houses my vanity, my dresser, my bureau, and a closet full of my clothes + my tv/dvd/ seasons of Girls Next Door and Sex & The City thus making it "my room") then came downstairs to play on blogger while the bf finished up a rousing game of Madden 09 and here I am.

Tomorrow is work as usual. In the afternoon I am taking the residents on a boat tour --- I'm not sure if I will actually ride the boat with them or not---I'm going through a phase right now where I become quite uncomfortable when I am faced with a situation that I am not in control of: social groups of people I don't know, meetings, riding as passenger in a car and I'm sure in a boat too. I start getting anxious and when I start getting anxious I start getting nauseous. I'm planning to see a doctor once the new job insurance kicks in (hello September 1st)...I'm sure he's going to tell me exactly what my mom's been telling me for three months now, "its just nerves, a lot changing all at once- you need to learn how to let go of things you can't control" but maybe he'll at least supplement the diagnoses with some Adavan candy. (Note: I am not a pill popper but I can't let this annoying ailment prevent me from living my life- my fear of getting anxious is affecting how I decide what to do on the weekend, if I will travel to visit friends, or even if I will go see a movie it HAS to STOP!). Now that all of that has been said- the residents are going on a boat ride and that should have us back by 4pm and (gasp) I will actually get to leave at a descent time tomorrow....not like it matters I'm already into overtime- all I can say is thank God I'm not salary- I would have to take a long walk off a short pier.

Alright well its after 11- my bed time and I think I heard the bf exit the shower so I'm going to head up and try to finagle a good back scratch (I'm only a little spoiled ( ; )

Goodnight,

Miss Amber Lane

On My Mind with: Amber Lane

(Ala Instyle Magazine September 2008)


Obsessed with...
Fall Fashion. Summer in dwindling pools are closing and I'm ready for a new color palate and a healthy serving of cashmere.











Wool and cashmere coat, Elijah, $575; at Elsie Garden, call 434-979-2888.

Happy I bought...

Smashbox Master Class Volume 3 Complexion Perfection ($59 at Sephora.com).
Not only does it come with an instructional dvd to help you learn exactly how to make your face look flawless, it also has the camera-ready products to do the trick!

Necessary extravagance...

Back massages. Whether given by the bf or a professional. I try to negotiate one a day. I'm not always successful but for the most part all I have to do is offer to take the bf's turn at dishes and voila. I am about due to hit the spa for the real deal
though.

Looking forward to....

Halloween! My spooky Halloween decor is the best, we throw a kick ass party and I've already decided on a costume idea ... my own spin on Princess Lolly from Candyland!


















Dreaming of...

Event planning for the Playboy Mansion...true story that was what I dreamed last night!

Listening to...

Secondhand Serenade, Bob Marley, Flyleaf (and hoping like mad Christina Aguilera is getting close to a new record)

Dropping by...
Macy's to pick up Fancy by Jessica Simpson its relatively inexpensive and smells sexy yet still young and flirty

Wishing for...
My new assistant already....or a tropical vacation....mmmm vacation!

Speed Dialing...
No one. I just want to rest.

Addicted to...

Starbucks Venti Green Iced Tea

Carrying...

A wonderful no name bag from TJ Maxx in cream with my blackberry, Hot pink Samsung camera, snake skin planner, five different lip colors, bobby pins, wallet, cute pink business card case w/ business cards....my sister gifted it to me for my birthday and it fits me to a t!

Can't stop watching...

Jon and Kate + 8 and looking forward to the return of ALL my fall shows!

My Cast of "Characters"

To put names with faces here are the people I will talk about most frequently. Also had I realized that I would not be able to rearrange the order of the pictures once they were posted this post would have a bit more of a fluid structure (ie friends and family) however, since I did not what you will find is a mess.

Oh well. Everything can't be perfect.

Here we go.

Rachel


Rachel and I met when I changed high schools my junior year. It took us a little while to become friends but once we did....watch out! We have been known to buy sparkely shoes, get Cadillacs stuck on big rocks, and go in search of Harolds (our name for everyone lawn gnome). This picture was taken the summer after our sophomore year in college as part of a montage known as "Blondes Having More Fun". Rachel has since gone back to her dark roots and moved with her bf of nearly four years, Brett to Baton Rouge. I miss her but we still chat via blackberry messenger frequently and visits will commence soon!


The Girls


You will see at least one of these girls a bit later in more detail. This picture was taken on Navy Pier in Chicago when we were there for Kristen's bachelorette party in May. I have known Kristen since first grade and though we are not always the closest (especially since her move with her now husband, Rich) we are family. I am also good friends with Jackie and Rae-Leigh as I have known them since first grade and early high school respectively. I consider them close friends yet you won't hear me talk about them often From left you have Megan, Katie (Kristen's sister in law) moi, Kristen, Jackie, Linda (Kristen's mom) and Rae-Leigh.


Ma Mere

Though I have two sisters- they are 18 and 20 years older than me so I grew up with just mom at home. We are probably one of the closest mother-daughter pairs you will meet. She's my number one dining out buddy among other things. This pic was taken about 7 years ago in Florida...but its one of my faves.


The Family

This picture was taken the day after my grandfather's funeral in 2004 at the Olive Garden. You won't often hear me talk about everyone in this picture but I love it because we rarely all get together. From top left: Johnny (1st cousin), Connie (aunt), Cindy (1st cousin), me, Zack (2nd cousin) Greg (2nd cousin) Diana (sister), Denise (sister), Mom, and Becky (aunt). Missing from this of course are many other cousins and an Aunt and Two Uncles. Mostly when I talk about my family it will be about my mom and sisters and sometimes Aunt Becky and her kids.


Nephews

You will also hear me talk about these two. The nephews. One from each sister. This picture was taken last Thanksgiving. Devin is on the left he is 13 now and an avid skateboarder, he is also freakishly talented at all types of music and very tall (he is several inches taller than his 5'3 aunt at present). The one on the right is Calvin he is active in a drama program and likes to read. I am proud of both of them and love them like crazy. I only wish I had more time to spend with each of them because they are growing up so fast!


The Babies: Izzy


This is Izzy. Before Ben and I moved in together we each took a kitten from the litter my crazy cat Chloe had after she went to live with my mom. Izzy was mine and you can tell. She is a princess and she knows it. She is not at all shy and is known for prancing into the lap of anyone who sits in our home whether she has been invited or not. She gets away with it though because she's cute and sweet and doesn't have an attitude about it. She's perfect and she knows it but she won't make you feel less than. ( :


The Babies: Zoey

Zoey was Ben's cat before we moved in together and she definitely has his personality. She's a tad lazy and not as outgoing as Izzy but she is a total sweetheart. She is also the biggest of the three and though she rarely throws her weight around when she's had enough of our sisters she lets them know. Zoey is best known for waking us up on the weekends when we sleep past her normal feeding time- with her incessant meowing and pawing until her dish has been filled and all is right with the world again.


The Babies: Bryndel


Bryndel came to us from the same litter as Izzy and Zoey but almost by accident. My mom was moving and only wanted to take one of the two remaining kittens (crazy Chloe had long since run off) so she asked my sister and myself to take her to a no-kill shelter. Well when we tried the shelter informed us that they were full and we would have to find another place for her. "Temporarily" I brought Bryn home to stay with us and after a week she was family. The other two accepted her back within no time even after a year apart so we decided to keep her. Unlike the other two Bryndel is very shy and only takes up with us and by us I mean mostly me. She has a big mouth and will tell you when she's not happy. Bryndel is happiest when we are in bed and she can curl up on my feet.


Megan


Best friend since 2nd grade with the odd year here and there in college during an awkward transition period for us. That and Megan and Ben dated in high school and there was so animosity when Ben and I started dating sophomore year in college. Like good friends do- we worked it out in time and though we thought it would never happen we are as close if not closer than we were before. This picture was taken after Kristen's rehearsal dinner on Megan's porch. We had been hitting the wine a bit too hard but its still a pretty cute pic. I'm a fan. Some of my fave Meg memories involve our trip with my mom to Florida in 4th grade, getting "drunk" the first time in my basement, when we looked so much alike people thought we were twins, her mom Diane (who passed away in 2005) and so much more.


The Boyfriend

Ben is not only my bf but my bestest friend too. We have been together since Feb. of 2004 and friends since 1997 when we met in band. I played the flute and he played the trombone. This picture was taken a few weeks ago during my 24th bday celebration. I know you can't really tell much about him from this picture but its the most recent one we have together. I'm sure there will be more in the near future. We share many interests but to name just a few Bengals Football, Dexter, Jon and Kate + 8, going to bars, movies, etc.


Jen

Jen and I have been friends since 7th grade with a few time lapses. Jen is the "old married woman" of the group. She and Scott have been married since 2006 and they have two kids Makayla and Aiden. Jen was around during my "wild child" stage when I was 16. I could never go back there but the memories sure are fun! Working at our local waterpark, shopping (or shop lifting as it were when I was 16) road trip to Virginia Beach, getting our belly buttons pierced and matching our clothes but in different colors....ah to be 16.


Jess

Jess and I met in college. We were both drama majors and though I was a year ahead we became fabulous friends through the touring children's theater group we were in. Jess is so much fun and so stinking smart its ridiculous- she is in her second year of grad school for costume design in Arizona so I don't get to see her too often anymore either. Some of my favorite memories of Jess involve bar hopping in Finland, stealing a little man from in front of the art building at Miami, and going on a spur of the moment trip to Myrtle Beach the weekend before finals.


Emily

I also met Emily in college through the theater department. What's funny though is that our whole lives we've lived about 7 miles apart and run in social circles that at times over-lapped but we never met. We are still very close today although Emily has recently begun dating Stephen pretty seriously and doesn't have as much time to just hang out anymore- but let's be honest who does? This pic was taken on Halloween last year. I was Eve (yes Ben was Adam) and Emily went as a Bengals Kitty. We live for Halloween and have already begun planning next year's costumes. We also share a love for upscale cosmetics and designer clothes, shoes, etc.

There you have it. This list is of course not all inclusive there are many other people who are important to my life and that you will hear about them. As I write about them I will try to post a photo- its fun to get a face to the name.

Ciao for now!

Miss Amber Lane

When One Gets A Day Off.....

One must blog.

After much arranging, organizing, and scheduling I was able to have all of the activities at work today covered by volunteers/other staff members and thus could take a day off. Praise the Lord (and pass the ammunition)! It is damn hard getting anything done with no assistant. Diane's last day was Tuesday and though there is always much to do (and many difficulties in arranging a day off) I can't say that I am without relief that she is gone.

Without getting into much detail and long story short my most recent assistant had once held my position and was asked to step down to become...that's right...my assistant. Awkward. So while it was an asset that she was there my first few months as far as not having to train a new assistant- it was also a hindrance whenever I tried to make changes or assert authority. I have also come to learn recently that though she was kind to my face she also had (and took) ample opportunity to set me up for failure. Wonderful. She also has made it difficult for me to gain the trust and respect of the team members because A: They liked her very much and B: I've been told she's kind of talked shit about me.....isn't that wonderful to know about a fifty something woman? So though I'm stressed about not having an assistant (not much longer though) I can't help but to feel- free.

So, I took today off. I didn't have any major plans for the day although I considered a few options. Pool day or putting my free tickets to Coney Island to use...but the mostly cloudy, threatening to rain weather hindered that. Plus I just didn't feel like leaving the house. So I pulled the covers over my head when my internal clock tried to make me wake up at 7:30 and convinced myself to stay asleep until about 9. I got up at that point - put on Dirty Dancing and began to clean the downstairs like a mad woman (leaving the kitchen for the bf of course because its his turn). I've paced myself though- sitting down to watch my favorite parts of DD and to catch up on a DVR'ed Jon and Kate but I still got a lot done. At one point I was feeling quite ambitious so I got dressed and cruised to Wal-Mart but thats where the nagging little headache I had been ignoring all morning decided to kick it up a notch so I excited with a few cans of diet coke and some chicken quesadilla rolls and came home to lounge and play on the computer- the headache has begun to subside finally.

Now its 5:30 and essentially my day off is over- if it were a regular work day I would be home by 6:30 anyway. Sigh. They go so fast. Tonight the bf and I are will probably go see a movie. And stupid though it may look to some -I want to see House Bunny...I don't know it just appeals to me on some frivolous girly level. Surprisingly the bf hasn't objected so House Bunny it is...if we decide to venture out anyhow.

For now.

Amber Lane

Today I am feeling: Lethargic, unmotivated, sloppy, and stressed

Things I Just Wouldn't Want To Live Without

Clearly I'm killing time before bed- but in the spirit of getting to know me, here are some of the things I love:



Where would my life be without my planner- of course that is not my particular planner but none the less- without them things just wouldn't get done!

I wish I could say that every night I came home and took the time to unwind in the bath tub- alas I can not say that- however I can appreciate a bubbly bath anytime I can make the time!


So many people say that being sent flowers is frivolous ---maybe so--- but I don't care. Send me pink roses and you can consider me officially wooed.


I'm not sure what kind of life I had before my blackberry pearl....how did I ever live without my 3am notification that Macy's.com is having a sale? In all seriousness though- there is nothing this phone doesn't do---well it doesn't text mobile to mobile but it can email, gps, photo take, video capture, myspace, blog, alarm, entertain etc. etc. and I LOVE IT!


Love. A tad pricey....so worth it...invest now.


I prefer mine in Venti form from Starbucks on my way to work.I ced and sweetend by moi with three packets of Splenda- Goodmorning!


What isn't perfectly precious and prissy about a cupcake. I like to make them- I love to eat them. Yes please.

Smells good, feels great.... light enough that even the bf won't shy away. I always have it on hand in original and lavender.


How much to I love my recently discovered addiction John and Kate + 8? Very much. I don't know why there are so many people who speak so negatively about Kate. So what if she's a self proclaimed germaphobe and a touch anal. That woman inspires me- I feel that I am very much like Kate in the arena of planning and organization I empathize with that side of her...sometimes its hard for others to digest. On top of that though John is a cutie and all the kids are adorable. We've actually adopted some new vocabulary words from them: Aldergator and underwears.


This case in particular isn't mine but I love, love, love my pink Sephora train case. It looks amazing on my vanity or when carrying it by hand and was by far the most perfect present for the bf to treat me to last Christmas. It holds EVERYTHING and that's what a girl on the go needs. My personal case is A: dirtier than this from makeup spill mishaps and general use and B: Crammed to the brim with cosmetic candy....maybe one day I'll take a picture of it....for those who may be curious....well when someone starts reading this blog anyhow!


Addicted. Its funny because dually I wish to live their lifestyle and John and Kate's (with a few less kids). Is it possible to construct a glamorous, primped out, sex kitten, organic, mommy, blonde bombsehll, well organized, lifestyle in the eastern mid west for a real life girl? One can dream.

And dream she will. It is now 11:50 and I'm now almost an hour passed the bedtime. I have to work tomorrow- yes on a Sunday- my job could be 24/7 if I didn't stomp a foot down in a well timed tantrum from time to time. I love it though- so its worth it.

Sweet Dreams,

Miss Amber Lane

Miss Amber Lane Has Arrived

I can not tell you how long this blog has been in the making. For months I have sporadically visited this site, tweaking backgrounds, editing my profile, and selecting just the right glamour shots for my profile pics. My fingers would itch to type something to announce my arrival to the Blogger world- yet something would hold me back- coaxing me to wait until something profound and meaningful could enhance my exposition. That moment never came, no pearls of wisdom have I found- yet I have chosen today to be the day. Many thoughts are dancing within me and I need an outlet for them. So I here I sit.

First let me start by saying that I am not new to the blogasphere. I was once a self professed Xanga addict. For over 6 years I wrote faithfully about every little going on in my life. Xanga and I met when I was 18 years old and we became great friends. Yet somehow the last year of our friendship has been somewhat disappointing. Subscriptions that I read faithfully began to fall away and new features have cluttered what I once enjoyed in its most simple form. I also feel that I'm in need of a fresh start. I'm not an 18 year old anymore, life has changed, I have changed- so while I will still visit with my old friend Xanga and the friends I have met through him- I will begin a new journey here tonight.

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Amber, I am 24 I have a fun, interesting, yet challenging career as an Activities Director for a Senior Community near my home in Cincinnati. I am living "in sin" with my boyfriend of 4.5 years Ben and we are currently in the most intense (read: stressful) process of buying our first house.

Let me get this gem out of the way early: we are not engaged. Will we be? It is my hope. Throughout the course of our dating relationship (we were great friends all through middle and high school before dating) we have climbed the mountains of our early twenties together. My five-year college degree, Ben's career, early twenties accumulated debt (will we ever reach the peak of that mountain?) Death of close friends and family, the start of new careers and the on-set of "real money"(although is it ever enough), Our official merge of households, an apartment, a townhouse and now by the end of September a home-we have finally reached a point where it will no longer be about finding the right job, finishing school, etc but about discovering what lies next for us as a couple. Whew! I know a mouth full there right? (~;

We have no children- I definitely want a big family someday- Ben has been undecided but I think he is starting to come around. We do have three feline babies whom we adore and treat very much like real babies- we are indeed cat people and have the stray hairs on our clothing to prove it. Izzy, Zoey, and Bryndel come to us from the same litter birthed by a crazy cat I had for awhile my junior year in college. She was the meanest cat I've ever met but gave us three of the sweetest girls we could ask for.

Ben and I have a great group of friends whom we have mostly retained from our school years. His friends are my friends and vice versa so its always nice when we get everyone together- which these days is rare. I also have friends from college who are scattered across the map whom I also love dearly but sadly don't get to see with much frequency. While my friends are dear and I would not trade them for anything in the world- sometimes I feel estranged from their particular life choices. I have many friends who married early and already have children. While that doesn't prevent us from being friends it does prove to be a hindrance at times. With the exception of my scattered college friends I am also one of the only of my closest circle to go to a University and complete my bachelors degree. You don't really realize how that will affect your relationships until you are in that situation so I find it difficult to explain.

I feel this is a big reason to why I blog. I am always looking to be in circles with other young women who are in a similar position in life. Educated professionals who are either in serious relationships or married- no children yet but wants them- who I can talk to, learn from, empathize with. I am in constant search of these people. I thought when I began my serious career I would be ensconced with them- but I was wrong. While I love my job very much I find that there are two distinctive groups. The coordinators who with the exception of myself are at least in their 30s, are married or were previously married, they ALL have children -several even have grandchildren- and then there are the team members who are either very young (read- teenagers) or (and I hate to say it) are uneducated women who are working as supplemental income to support their families. I am by no means saying that I am above them in any way we just have very different lifestyles- myself from both groups of people at my work- and I find a hard time pulling much more from my interactions with them than friendly chit chat.

I'm thinking about joining some type of club or performing group but right now my work schedule is so hectic that membership is only a pipe dream.

So for now I blog and read blogs to fill that little gap.

I think that's a lot to chew on for now. And besides there will be lots to discover about me as we go along together and that will be much more fun than me serving it all up to you here tonight.

Love & Kisses,

Miss Amber Lane

Tonight I'm:
Optimistic, Verbose, Sleepy, Organized, Creative, Content