Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Dear 16 year-old-self

Saw this post on Jax's blog and in light of everything I've been going through lately thought it would be interesting to let my stream of consciousness flow with advice to the 16 year-old Amber. The year was 2000 I was a junior in high school and went through 2 moves and 3 high schools in the course of one school year - it was a rough year.

Dear 16 Year Old Self,

* You are OK ... matter of fact you are better than OK - you are smart and talented and you really should stop comparing yourself to other people and thinking about all the things that you don't have that you think other people do - the grass is not always greener.

* Stay away from Adam - I know he makes you feel weak in the knees and the way he kisses you melts your insides but he's nothing but trouble, he's going to destroy your view of men and relationships and cause you much emotional and physical harm for the next 3 years. And trust me - he's not going to be the last person to make you weak in the knees and melt your insides.

* Eat right! Learn what foods are truthfully good for you and how they effect your body and go with them. Lay off the McDonalds and really get your butt moving- once high school is over and your built in physical fitness is gone - you're going to really pack it on - I'm just saying.... you aren't the kind of girl who can eat whatever you want without consequence.

* Don't let your ego be so fragile. You are worthy. Don't take everything to heart and so seriously. People can be mean just for the sake of being mean and snide just because they want to cut you down a peg.

* Cherish this time with your 5 year old nephew - you'll never be this close again - and he's going to grow up so fast - you will really, really miss his younger self when your 27 and he's 16 with a girlfriend in college,and a drivers license, and a rock band.

* Look past today and tomorrow and to the future - joy comes in the morning, troubles they don't last always

* Friendship is important but expect even the longest lasting friendships to evolve and change over the course of time and life's triumphs and tribulations

* Hug your grandpa everyday and be so appreciative for everything he's done for you in your life. You will miss him forever and to this day you will dream of your grandparents home - the most consistent family home you've ever known

* Love like you've never been hurt but pay attention to whose worthy of that love and whose not. Don't fall for wolves in sheep's clothing - there are so many of them out there

* Your priorities are going to change...and then they are going to change again....and then probably again...

* Some things just weren't meant to last. If you look in the mirror one day and don't like who you see and its influenced by a relationship that you are in ....its time to know when to cut your losses

* Bleaching your own hair is never a good idea - you will later be embarrassed when you look back at pictures of your wretched self coloring jobs

* Don't give up on your dreams. Don't give up, don't back down, don't take no for an answer .... do whatever it takes to get to where you want to be...just because things naturally come easy doesn't mean you can half ass it...that only makes you mediocre.

* Go away for college. You don't belong at Miami - once again its the easiest route and when you take it you will find that you don't fit and you will spend a few years trying to make a square peg fit in a round whole and then the remaining few resenting yourself and everyone there.

* Don't have roommates - if you can live alone - you should

* Beware of black ice - you aren't invincible

* The money thing ... it does get easier but its never easy - no matter how much you have or don't have

* Don't drink more than a glass of champagne ... and that night you find yourself downing several bottles...sleep in the bathroom

* Don't look back in anger. Everything happens for a reason. In the grand scheme of things - you were supposed to do what you just did...every strand in the rope makes it stronger ... don't look at yourself as a failure just because something failed.

* Hey, when your 20 ...don't open that high limit credit card and max it out....its going to take you 7 years to pay it off....oy. For that matter don't take out any loans other than federal school loans...your're going to regret that too.

* Pay attention to warning signs and red flags in relationships...don't look past them because you want something ...and don't try to make something or someone who they are not - that will only come back to kick you in the ass.

* In college...go to class....seriously...don't be so lazy

* Don't obsess over little things on yourself. I get it - your a perfectionist - but honey you aren't ever going to be perfect.

* Don't get distracted while driving and plow into the back of an army grade jeep....disaster

* Stop looking for what's next - live in the moment and enjoy life. Also stop expecting it to look a certain way...it never does and it never will

* Your only going to improve with age...

Sweet 16

Tumultuous(?) 27

Now I only wonder what my 38 year old self will tell my 27 year old self..... I'm sure a lot!