I Am Tired

My least favorite phrase right now is, "You are too young to be tired."

Exuse' Moi?

I'm too young to be tired? Well- great! Thank you so much for telling me that I'm too young to be tired. Now I can really focus on what's important and apparently sleep is not one of those things. Gosh, can you imagine how much more I will be able to accomplish in a single day, week, month now that I know I can eliminate sleep from my schedule?!?! It will be fantastic!

Bullshit.

That little gem comes from one of the concierges at my place of employment whom has taken note on more than one occasion that I am frequently tired.

"You're always tired. Your too young to be tired."

Oh ok. I've had one day off in a 14 day span- of which I spent cleaning my house (while pissing around intermittently) I am working a job that requires one coordinator (moi) and one assistant of which I haven't had in over a week now. I don't have enough time to even stop for lunch during the day so the first time I eat on any given day is around 7:30. On top of that I commute 45 minutes to and from work which is a taxing experience all on its own----plus I haven't had a vacation since college---and I don't mean going somewhere---I mean more than two or three days where my presence is not required at work. Plus even when I was still in college I worked full time + some + a full course load + an internship....and I don't have the right to be tired. You can kiss my lilly white ass!

And I love how this bit of wisdom comes from an employee who works part time and whose job is performed 95% of the time while sitting on her duff. I loathe how the old (er) feel that they are the only ones entitled to being tired. Its just like when my papaw used to tell me I was too young for headaches- oh ok papaw tell that to my throbbing head.

Grrr.

Breathe and reboot.

I know I sound grouchy but really today was not an unpleasant day. Business as usual on the work front with an added meeting for our area manager to tell all the coordinators how much our team members hate us- well not so much me seeing how as I've only been there four months and until I have a new assistant I don't have any staff that reports directly to me just staff who are assigned to my scheduled activities. Honestly I'm glad our team members have negative things to say- it tells me I'm not crazy or judgmental for thinking that some members of the coordinator team are A: unprofessional B: two faced. Maybe this is the start of something good- or at least better. For the most part though I'm not worried about the other coordinators. I worry about the residence that I serve and creating activity programming that will enrich their lives. That's first for me. So I try to focus my energies on that and the rest melts away.

I'm just endlessly amazed at how much drama and juvenile horse hockey there is in the "adult world"- I'm beginning to think that there is no "adult world" just an older version of high school. Am I alone here or do others see that as well?

After work I picked up the bf from his respective place of employment and we went to the grocery to pick up a few weekly necessaries such as milk, eggs, and bread. I tried to convince the bf that chocolate silk pie made with love by Sara Lee was a necessary but no luck.

Came home, made dinner, watched dvr'dJon and Kate, painted toe nails, cleaned "my room" (aka the guest room that we still haven't gotten a bed for that houses my vanity, my dresser, my bureau, and a closet full of my clothes + my tv/dvd/ seasons of Girls Next Door and Sex & The City thus making it "my room") then came downstairs to play on blogger while the bf finished up a rousing game of Madden 09 and here I am.

Tomorrow is work as usual. In the afternoon I am taking the residents on a boat tour --- I'm not sure if I will actually ride the boat with them or not---I'm going through a phase right now where I become quite uncomfortable when I am faced with a situation that I am not in control of: social groups of people I don't know, meetings, riding as passenger in a car and I'm sure in a boat too. I start getting anxious and when I start getting anxious I start getting nauseous. I'm planning to see a doctor once the new job insurance kicks in (hello September 1st)...I'm sure he's going to tell me exactly what my mom's been telling me for three months now, "its just nerves, a lot changing all at once- you need to learn how to let go of things you can't control" but maybe he'll at least supplement the diagnoses with some Adavan candy. (Note: I am not a pill popper but I can't let this annoying ailment prevent me from living my life- my fear of getting anxious is affecting how I decide what to do on the weekend, if I will travel to visit friends, or even if I will go see a movie it HAS to STOP!). Now that all of that has been said- the residents are going on a boat ride and that should have us back by 4pm and (gasp) I will actually get to leave at a descent time tomorrow....not like it matters I'm already into overtime- all I can say is thank God I'm not salary- I would have to take a long walk off a short pier.

Alright well its after 11- my bed time and I think I heard the bf exit the shower so I'm going to head up and try to finagle a good back scratch (I'm only a little spoiled ( ; )

Goodnight,

Miss Amber Lane