Friday, April 26, 2013

A Lady and a Blog Under Construction

For the first time in a long time I joined a blogger link-up at Kelly's Korner so that I can start re-connecting with the blog universe again. This particular link up is for 20-something women, married or un-married, but without children. Since most of the (lovely) women I have connected with in the past 5 years have since procreated and I have not I thought it may be nice to be able to get to know some other women who may be in a similar place in life as myself.

Then I realized; my place in life sure has changed a lot in the past 2 years!

If you are new here and found me by visiting Kelly's blog (or any other corner of the bloggernets), welcome! I'll be glad to "meet" you and I'm super glad to have you stop by its been a quiet year around these parts!

I warn you though - please don't let the title of this blog or my profile information fool you - this blog, much like this lady are both under construction!

First things first...
My name is Amber Lane (last name omitted for privacy - obvi!).

Random Pic of Moi sometime in the last couple of months(all I have relatively current are selfies on my Iphone)

I was born on August 8, 1984 (that makes me pushing 29 for those who don't feel like crunching numbers).

The original title of this blog was Miss Amber Lane Takes on the Universe.
It then became A Blonde Bride and Her Boo and then later The Blonde Bride Unveiled. N
Now if we were actively changing names based on relationship status my title would be something like:

"The Blonde Ex Wife and her Rockstar (pseudo) Boyfriend Who are "Figuring Things" Out Right Now While They're in a Band Together, Hanging Out Together and, Basically Together in Everything but Name "  (and yes I added quotes within a quote- I am a grammatical wizard!).

But that's too damn long for a headline so for now I've just left it alone.

As I've mentioned, I'm a lady under construction.

In 2011-2012 my marriage fell apart, I jumped too quickly into another relationship and went through a lot of shit as a result including; losing my career, my home, and my mind. You can read the sordid details here if you so choose. As you will also notice from that post, things are beginning to look up!

The point of this post though is to tell you some things about me that I think are relevant to today and who I've become since the last time I was a "regularly scheduled blogger".

2. In December of 2008 I looked like this:

Sister's Christmas Pic 2k8

 And looked like that if not slightly heavier by Christmas of 2009 as well. However after the first of the year I had this undeniable urge to change my life. Change the way I ate, how I spent my free time, and in turn how I lived my entire life. My upcoming nuptials didn't hurt by way of lighting a fire under my ass either.
At my heaviest I weighed in at 199 lbs (yuck) at5'3 that weight was no kind of joke!

 By Christmas 2010 I looked like this:

Sister's Christmas Pic 2k10
 I weighed in at aproximately 146 by this point. I took off 50 lbs from January 2010 to June 2010 and continued to lose.

This Christmas I looked like this:

Sister's Christmas Pic 2k12
 This is me at my current weight of 139 lbs. I reached my lowest ever weight around the time my husband and I split up in the fall of 2011. Aproximately 135. It wasn't because I was trying to it was because I was stressed beyond measure and could barely eat for awhile. As I began to gain control of my emotions I crept up a little bit to my current weight. I am happy with this number. Of course I do have other fitness goals for myself and if a little more weight happens to come up while striving for those goals - I aint gonna cry about it. Life is moving too fast for me right now. I still pay great attention to what goes into my mouth and try to get work outs in but I will be the first to admit I don't go to zumba, run/walk, exercise with as much regularity and frequency as I would like. I'm maintaing without much of an issue though so there's something to be proud of!

I don't consider myself a weight loss blogger. I may from time to time share some things that I've done that helped me be successful but I'm not an expert and don't pretend to be. I do feel that my 60+ lbs weight loss does factor in hugely to who I am today and to some of the messes things I've gotten myself into in the past couple of years.

2. Speaking of subject-matter-specific blogs.... I'm not one of those. Maybe I should be. Maybe in time I will be but as I mentioned (a couple of times now) I'm under construction. I admire the bloggy ladies who are sponspored, and have meet-ups, and do things like attend Blissdom but lets be honest here; in Amber Lane's world and the world of my favorite eye witness Sweet Brown:

I don't do crafts. I don't have a husband. I don't have an adorable child to post pics of all the time. Matter of fact I don't even have a home to show you pictures of decor and/or elaborate parties I'm throwing.
Pinterest makes me feel like a total waste of skin because I don't even kind of have the energy to complete a craft. So this blog is pretty much just a chick, living her life. So if you want to feel super good about your average, every day life - welcome to mine!

3. So what do I do with myself since I'm not a spouse, a mommy, a crafter, Suzy Homemaker or Rockstar Oh wait ... that's right ... I AM a rockstar!

Tiny pic but this is me singing at a benefit back in February

At least by night. By day I once was an Activity Director in a Senior Living Community and I was awesome at said career. Then life happened and I was sent on my way. I spent about 6 months as a sales associate in a boutique before I found my current position as a slave to a headset in a tiny little cubby at a local entertainment venue. Read: this is temporary. So that part of my life is really boring. My rockstar life is far more interesting. I am a singer in an acoustic duo with the before mentioned Rockstar/pseudo boyfriend. He rocks the guitar and background vocals and I am your front woman. Right now we are exclusively covers and nothing is off limits: Pink, Katy Perry, The Beatles, All American Rejects, Rihanna, Jewel, Deanna Carter, Blue October, Ingrid Michaelson, Pistol Annies - just to name a few. We've been jamming together since November and have in the last couple of months really picked up momentum. We started with 2 gigs in December. To having a weekly gig every Wednesday night and now every other Sunday plus other weekend night shows here and there. We have 9 gigs booked so far for May! Not only is it a blast but it also helps to pad my finances! Plus its something to I get to do with someone I really enjoy.

4. Yeah about that guy.... I think he's awesome. I respect him immensely, have over-the-top feelings for him and am pretty much throwing my heart at him. Unfortunately, Amber Lane is not without her demons and has not been the perfect girlfriend at all times. That's all that needs to be said about that. We're taking it slow now, seeing if we can overcome the hurdles that I threw up along the track. Whether we do or not, I consider him my best friend and have absolutely nothing but love for him.

5. I live like a gypsy. I mentioned before I don't have a home to decorate. With the loss of my job came the loss of my home (thank God it was a rental) so I packed up my big things and moved them into storage and took my everyday things to my big sister's where I have a room - that I never sleep in. I'm sure it irks their nerves to no end but I never stay there. I'm closing in on 30 and while they have never placed limitations on me as far as what I can and can't do - I have never warmed to checking in if I'm not coming home, or being all bymyself by 9:30 at night when everyone else either goes to sleep my (40 something year old sis and bro-in-law) or retires to their own room for video games (my 18 year-old-nephew). Sometimes its a little disheartening to not have a place that's all mine- especially after I have lived on my own since I was 20 and even in my room at their house I have to share space with the biggest, most space consuming desk that ever existed in the history of man kind, but for the most part I make it work. I mostly stay with the Rockstar or friends and I of course can always go "home". At least I'm able to begin saving to have my own place again sometime in the (hopefully) not so distant future.

6. As for the things my blogger profile says. Well for the most part they're all still true. I'm not a completely different person. I'm still as girly, girl as they come ( shoes, lotions, potions, and clothes all still catch my attention) and haven't lost my mascara-without-mirror application skills...but I truthfully can't even imagine putting the energy and effort into some of the things that were once so important to me like making sure I caught the latest episode of every god-forsaken-popular TV show known to man. I can no longer tell you a single show that I tune in for weekly. I do consistantly watch the most recent epidoses of Grey's on demand but never at the actual air time. I spend a lot of time playing gigs or practicing and hanging with the Rockstar and his family. At this point in life my relationships with the awesome people in my life are far more important than almost anything else.

7. What do I want from my future now? A life with purpose and direction and love. Maybe I'll never be someone's wife again - but I do want lasting love. Maybe I'll never be a mother- but that doesn't mean I can't have meaningful relationships with the children who come into my life through others.Or maybe someday I'll have both. Right now I'm just rebuilding - and the greatest thing about that is that I'm the designer, the architect and the builder and I can create whatever I want for my future. Its exciting.

And scary.

But I've got my game face on so I'm ready to go!

Shew! After all of that- maybe no one will even stop by from the 20-something link up but another chapter in my story has been written through this post none-the-less.
Hope you all have a lovely weekend! I We have a show tomorrow night and I work a later shift on Sunday.
So essentially work all weekend - so worth it though!

Much Love Always!

Amber Lane

Monday, April 22, 2013

Things That Annoy Me

Not going to lie to you. Its a gorgeous, sunny, warmish day in southern Ohio. The sky is blue, there isn't a cloud in the sky, I'm off the next two days after this and I am flat out, hands down Princess Pissy Pants right now. So in honor of that I thought I would post about the things that really "grind my gears" ... just so I can get some shit off my chest. Be warned's more of a rant.

1. People who ignore your texts but update their fb status, like a picture, or take a turn at Songpop via mobile in the time period that you are awaiting a response from them. Its just fucking rude - don't be that person.

2. People who pronounce the words "hold" or "told" as "hode" and "toad". There's an "L" in there people- its not fucking optional! On the same topic the word "wash" doesn't have an "r" in it - You don't warsh dishes you wash them!

3. The thin cardboard inserts for magazine subscriptions that make you flip right to the pages they're attached to even after you rip them out. I understand the marketing aspect of this but for chrissakes do there really need to be 25 in every single magazine?!?!

4. People who try to talk to me when I am CLEARLY wearing my earphones. If I wanted to chat with you while I sat in the break room eating my Lean Cuisine I wouldn't be blaring Marilyn Manson into my ears at sound barrier bursting decibals.

5. People who say, "I'm over the moon" ... a lot. There is a blogger who is actually tres cute whose blog I used to like to read until she started puking that sentence up every third line - making me want to puke everytime I read it. Sorry chicky I just can't take it anymore. Its ok though, based on this post I'm clearly a raging bitch anyway so I'm sure you won't mind losing me as a follower once I'm on a computer that will actually allow me to edit the blogs I'm following.

6. Panties that start to come apart at the waist band while wearing them....this may or may not have happened to me today - for no other reason than - well sometimes that shit happens.

7. Roots. Hair appt on Wednesday cannot come soon enough.

8. People who try to start a conversation while you're reading a book by saying, "Whatcha reading?". Nothing. I can't read while you're talking to me. I'm going to just start throwing my book at these people and saying, "look for yourself!"

9. When people you want to be spending time with in the sunshine on a warm, sunny, spring Monday are out doing something fun and springy without you while you are stuck at a desk, wearing a headset, and your ass is hurting from sitting too long in the same spot.

Maybe this is why I'm annoyed....but what are ya gonna do. I know this post was raging bitch mode but I'm not going to be that girl that posts all this on fb passive aggressively so I'll passive aggressively post it to my blog and hope I come away from it all unscathed.

Much Loathe Love,

Amber Lane

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Lust List

I know that since my great hiatus of 2012 that I no longer have any faithful readers so this post is mostly to remind myself that right now these are the items that I am lusting over.

Sephora Collection:
Free-Standing Easel Brush Set
$275.00 @
This brush set is close to $300.00 but comes with every brush shape and size that you could possibly need. Not only that, but the case is designed so that when it opens up it is free standing so that the right brush is easy to find when you need it. This is an added bonus when you find yourself frequently getting ready for work in the AM in a certain "Rockstar's" bathroom and don't have your normal vanity space to spread out! I got my last nice brush set from Sephora back in like 2006 and have been using them for 7 years (wow that's a long time)! They're still great brushes but the handles are cream colored and even after washing they're still dingy and no longer so pretty to look at. Sephora's brushes last forever so I think its well worth the investment!

image via:

Heat Wave Eyeshadow Palette
 $48.00 @
Very rarely does a palette come along where I can look at all the colors and say, "Yes, I see myself using every one of these colors" (Urban Decay Naked and Naked2 palettes excluded). I saw this palette on-line today and definitely could see myself putting together some eye looks with each one. I especially love the top row - it reminds me of a bronzy summer sunset.

image via:

 Loungefly Quilted Hello Kitty Bowler Bag
Price Varies By Boutique Site

I'm going to have this bag. I know I'm a grown ass woman but I love me some Hello Kitty.
Love. Love-love.
This bag is sophisticated enough that it doesn't immediately smack you with the fact that its embossed all over with a picture of a cartoon cat's face, yet still kitchy enough that it satiates my love for all things kitty. Plus its ginormous and anyone who knows me knows that baby girl loves to tote around lots and lots of shit.
Please reference this video:

image via:

Samsung Galaxy Note II 
Price Varies Based on Plan and Provider
Good thing I like to carry giant, oversized bags because I am seriously considering acquiring one of these bad boys. They are ginormous when in terms of cellular telluars but when I visited my friend Rachel in Louisiana last month I got to see first hand how much she loves hers and have since read nothing but positive reviews about screen quality and battery life. I mean, I love my iphone but seriously I have to carry my charger with me everywhere I go and if I happen to forget it (like today) I have to stay off Facebook, songpop, and stop texting all day long like a mad thanks!


Windows Surface
Price Varies based on features. Starts @ $499.00

I want one. Since my lap top and I were tragically and dramatically parted from one another back at the end of my last relationship I have been without computer. But its ok because laptops have come a long way since mine was purchased back in 2k6. I'm not a hard core gamer, I don't dabble in computer programming or anything I would need a heavy duty computer for anymore so this is the perfect little device for. Comes with Microsoft Office comes standard and it has all the email and surfing capabilities that a casual facebook, blogger, computer user like myself could need.
Doesn't hurt that I can get a pink keyboard cover ...

Rainbow Ombre Hair
If you watch Ridiculousness on MTV then you know Chanel Westcoast...she contributes absolutely nothing to the show and isn't even that pretty live action (google her print work though and you''ll be amazed at what photoshop does for this otherwise average looking chick..harsh, I know) but this past season she was rocking this rad ass hair color. I love it. I want it. Can't have it on the everyday thanks to work but I'm thinking of trying out some hair chalk and hoping it can look as vibrant and colorful as this.

image via:

 Nose Piercing

I had my nose pierced when I was a freshman in college and kept it until I was hired into my first Activity Directing job at 23. I miss it. Not only that for some strange reason in the place where once my nose ring was, there is now a grayish blue dot that will not go away - so it kind of looks like I have a less sparkely version of a nose ring anyway. Me thinks I should just have it redone and get on with my life. I'm actually looking into it and options to conceal it so I can still have a big girl job.

Tennis Anyone? 

I love tennis. I love the game. I love that its played outside and I love that you can play it in a skirt. Truth is that I've never learned how to play by the rules. When I was younger a girlfriend of mine and I used to hit the ball around some but I never learned how to be technically good. I have pretty good hand eye coordination and I can be quite competitive so I think I may actually be kinda good at it if I learned. I'm currently looking into places to take lessons this spring/summer. Only thing is they can be quite expensive by the hour so I would rather take group clinics if I could find them. Just having a hard time finding them right now....but I will...fear not!

So concludes this edition of Amber Lane's lust list. Hope everyone (anyone out there anymore?!?!) is enjoying this sunny (but chilly) April Sunday!

Much Love Always!
Amber Lane