Wedding Planning Hell

So this is how wedding planning is going so far:

-Can't find venues that fit our budget and our champagne taste: We refuse  A: a wedding without a kick ass dj and plenty of room to dance B: alcohol C: a place to have the ceremony and reception at one place but not in the same room

I'm super irritated because Ben thinks we should be able to swing the whole wedding for the price I think we can swing the reception. He of course it wrong. 

-Can't fit in the fucking dress I want- I've never pretended to be a skinny girl: I wear between a 10-12 in pants which I consider middle of the road- not thin by any means, not obese- I wear between a 14-16 blouse because I have a 36 DD bust- which in wedding dress size means I wear... a FUCKING 20 ...yep a 20 gals and guys....that alone doesn't bother me- I know my boobs are a major factor here and they size gauge....what pisses me off is the dress that I tried on in a 14 (and was clothes pinned to me as it wouldn't close) and LOVED only goes to a 16....and the bitch at the place didn't bother to fucking tell me that....so I got all happy and giddy and thinking about going ahead and buying it because its in my price range and do a little more research once I get home and discover this little fucking gem about the sizing. 

Can I lose weight? Sure. Who's to say I would lose it in my boobs though even if I wanted to. The fact of the matter is- I'm comfortable the size I am- and I don't fucking think I should have to lose weight for gd dress- its so cliche and I am soooooo irritated. 

What else...

- Oh, yeah...Ben has no opinions about anything- what-so-ever, won't pick his last groomsman, or a best man , seems to think that I know all the answers to everything, and the best part? He thinks his mom can do any and everything so that we don't have to pay for it: Wedding Cake? Mommy will make it! Invitations? Mommy can make them! Bikini wax? Mommy can do that too! Ok I'm fudging on the last one- but serious about the others. Hell, maybe she can but I'm of the school of thought that we should throw some money at the issues and be done with it.

I'm so serious- we were talking about the budget yesterday and Ben named off the price and the things he thought we could get for that price to have our dream wedding. At the end of his budget list this is what we didn't have for our wedding:

-wedding dress

-tux

-attendants gifts

-parents gifts

-marriage liscence 

-officiant 

-PHOTOGRAPHER (fucking photographer)

-wedding bands

- flowers

-hair and makeup for me

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?

I know that its the oldest known fact in the book that grooms are clueless when it comes to wedding planning but I guess I expected more from him.

Maybe I'm being a bridezilla but I feel like from the very beginning NOTHING has gone well since we got engaged and to make matters worse I feel so alone in the planning process. Ben doesn't know anything and only half listens to me when I talk, my mom continually reminds me that she hasn't been mother of the bride in almost 20 years and doesn't know what to do, I think Ben's parents feel like their over-stepping their boundaries to give in-put, and only two of my bridesmaids live within a half an hour of me and one of them is planning her own wedding that's approaching much faster than mine. I feel like just throwing the towel in.

Everybody keeps telling me I should get exactly what I want...yet no one has told me how in the hell I'm supposed to get it- without the perfect amount of money, the perfect body, and the perfect support system.

In an un-perfect world, in an unperfect economy- how do you consturct your perfect wedding?

Pop in, pop out

Still alive. Just pushing through. This weekend was nice. Friday night Ben and I went to hear our friend's Irish Pub band play at our favorite hole in the wall- The Back Door. It was tons of fun if for no other reason than these guys were there:


From left to right: Will, Elliot, and Lauren.

Oh and these guys were there too:

The BF Megan and her fiancee Kenny (yes he has a temp. tatt. on his forehead...that's what alcohol does to people my friends).

After the events of Friday night we slept in on Saturday and loafed around until afternoon sometime. I then met ma mere for a movie (Slumdog Millionaire finally...and loved it) then Ben and I went to dinner and rented a handful of movies and called it a night on the couch.

Today we had brunch at the Grand Finale with the future in-laws and discussed some wedding plans. We are finally going to look at venues this week and hopefully start this ball rolling...I mean its only like we have 15 months to do this in- I'm not worried. We then shopped around for awhile and I bought some CUTE accessories for St. Patty's which I am SUPER excited about this yea! Probably because I planned ahead and decided this would be the week I take some vacation time and will be off Tues,Wed,Thurs, Fri -four blissful days off in a row! Thank God!

Unfortunately however, I do have to go to work tomorrow and it is almost midnight so I better run.

Goodnight!

Miss Amber Lane

Tonight I'm Feeling: Rested, Happy, Anxious (Ben is out hearing his friend's band play and I'm going to bed sans fiancee for the first time in...years.....creepy)