Es No Bueno

About two months ago Ben and I were sitting and chatting over that state of the US Economy and though we knew that things were not well, we remarked that we personally felt unscathed by the turbulence. We both had good jobs, making good money- which was a major difference from when I was in school. We remarked that we were lucky.

Famous last words of fools.

As you already know, back in February Ben was laid off - a mere four days after our engagement. The news was terrible and hit like a ton of bricks. Fortunately however, unemployment and savings has been kind to us and we are doing well- and as long as Ben is diligent in his job search (which I'm sure he will be) we won't feel the pinch from his lay off.

Unfortunately- that was just the first wallop of the relentless financial/social/career beat- down that we were to receive.

I mentioned casually in passing a week or so ago a little something about my raise and annual bonus. Well to be more specific: nationwide my company cut bonuses- though we profited- coordinators will not see one red dime of that money- on top of that all raises are being set at 2% - so though I was already appraised at a 3% I will now only be receiving 2% and not only that- it won't appear on my check until at least June- when originally we were told it was supposed to hit two weeks ago.

Fine. I am glad to still have a job- so I grinned and bared it and sat back while my colleagues bitched and moaned to our boss at meetings.

Then the shit storm really hit.

On my first day of vacation last week - my phone started blowing up with calls from my Business Manager. She called bearing bad news- my assistant who I was allowed to have for 37.5 hours had to be cut to 16 effective by the end of the week- when I wasn't even scheduled to be there all week. Fantastic. I was so worried about everything, how to schedule her, whether she would quit, how I would get anything done with no help that I actually drove the 45 minutes to work to sit down with my boss and vent and seek advice. Though we weren't able to get her quite back to her hours prior to the cut- we did find a solution that gives her back to me for MOST of what she was working before. Crisis averted.

Or so I thought.

Today, at our morning meeting I was handed a print-out of next months Activity Budget. It has been cut by 50% for the month of April (when it had already been cut by 50% for the 2009 fiscal year). Let me explain just how dire this cut is- I book 1 entertainer a week for our residents...they love entertainers and its the only evening activity they actually stay awake for..... with the entertainers that I had booked for April- my budget was already half gone with - so I had to call and cancel two of them and I may cancel another yet- and that's only the teensiest fraction of the activity spending at present.

Yes. I am so very thankful that I have a job, and that I get paid well- first and foremost let me say that. Yet at the same time I am so frustrated! There are a lot of things that I can plan that don't involve copious amounts of money- but there is also a certain amount of money needed to keep the department functioning- and I'm afraid we may be shy of it this time.

The other thing- how do I explain to my residents who aren't spending any less money to live in our community- why we aren't able to do the things that we could do just mere months ago due to budget cuts- I can't- there's no excuse. They're paying the same amount- they should be getting the same services. My opinion anyway.

So here I stand. Very corrected from two months ago when I felt as though I were an untouchable. Due to the economy I now have an un -employed fiance, an unhappy assistant who feels disposable, a very poor raise when more was deserved and no bonus that REALLY would have helped with wedding plans, barely enough money to run my department successfully, and a job that keeps getting more and more challenging with no additional compensation/recognition and no solution to the problem in my eye line.

But yes, I still have a job. And a headache. I yi yi.

Really though- all things considering I'm in high spirits. At this point I'm powerless to the changes so all I can do is grin and bare it as the news rolls in. I'm just going to keep rolling with the punches.

It just sucks that my first year, at my first real job happens to be during the biggest financial crisis of our lifetimes.

What doesn't kill us will only make us stronger- am I right?

In other news- tomorrow night is a big night at work: Monte Carlo night planned by yours truly. I will more than likely be at work from 9 to 9 - with nearly an hour commute one way that should only be what? A 14 hour work day? In the midst of a 7 day stretch? Fantastic.

So I'm beddy bi bound. I need some zzzs to make it through tomorrow. I have St. Patty's photos of been meaning to post so stay tuned for those soon!

Peace & Love!

Miss Amber Lane

Tonight I'm Feeling: Sleepy, Frustrated, Hopefull