Friday, April 26, 2013

A Lady and a Blog Under Construction

For the first time in a long time I joined a blogger link-up at Kelly's Korner so that I can start re-connecting with the blog universe again. This particular link up is for 20-something women, married or un-married, but without children. Since most of the (lovely) women I have connected with in the past 5 years have since procreated and I have not I thought it may be nice to be able to get to know some other women who may be in a similar place in life as myself.

Then I realized; my place in life sure has changed a lot in the past 2 years!

If you are new here and found me by visiting Kelly's blog (or any other corner of the bloggernets), welcome! I'll be glad to "meet" you and I'm super glad to have you stop by its been a quiet year around these parts!

I warn you though - please don't let the title of this blog or my profile information fool you - this blog, much like this lady are both under construction!

First things first...
My name is Amber Lane (last name omitted for privacy - obvi!).

Random Pic of Moi sometime in the last couple of months(all I have relatively current are selfies on my Iphone)

I was born on August 8, 1984 (that makes me pushing 29 for those who don't feel like crunching numbers).

The original title of this blog was Miss Amber Lane Takes on the Universe.
It then became A Blonde Bride and Her Boo and then later The Blonde Bride Unveiled. N
Now if we were actively changing names based on relationship status my title would be something like:

"The Blonde Ex Wife and her Rockstar (pseudo) Boyfriend Who are "Figuring Things" Out Right Now While They're in a Band Together, Hanging Out Together and, Basically Together in Everything but Name "  (and yes I added quotes within a quote- I am a grammatical wizard!).

But that's too damn long for a headline so for now I've just left it alone.

As I've mentioned, I'm a lady under construction.

In 2011-2012 my marriage fell apart, I jumped too quickly into another relationship and went through a lot of shit as a result including; losing my career, my home, and my mind. You can read the sordid details here if you so choose. As you will also notice from that post, things are beginning to look up!

The point of this post though is to tell you some things about me that I think are relevant to today and who I've become since the last time I was a "regularly scheduled blogger".

2. In December of 2008 I looked like this:

Sister's Christmas Pic 2k8

 And looked like that if not slightly heavier by Christmas of 2009 as well. However after the first of the year I had this undeniable urge to change my life. Change the way I ate, how I spent my free time, and in turn how I lived my entire life. My upcoming nuptials didn't hurt by way of lighting a fire under my ass either.
At my heaviest I weighed in at 199 lbs (yuck) at5'3 that weight was no kind of joke!

 By Christmas 2010 I looked like this:

Sister's Christmas Pic 2k10
 I weighed in at aproximately 146 by this point. I took off 50 lbs from January 2010 to June 2010 and continued to lose.

This Christmas I looked like this:

Sister's Christmas Pic 2k12
 This is me at my current weight of 139 lbs. I reached my lowest ever weight around the time my husband and I split up in the fall of 2011. Aproximately 135. It wasn't because I was trying to it was because I was stressed beyond measure and could barely eat for awhile. As I began to gain control of my emotions I crept up a little bit to my current weight. I am happy with this number. Of course I do have other fitness goals for myself and if a little more weight happens to come up while striving for those goals - I aint gonna cry about it. Life is moving too fast for me right now. I still pay great attention to what goes into my mouth and try to get work outs in but I will be the first to admit I don't go to zumba, run/walk, exercise with as much regularity and frequency as I would like. I'm maintaing without much of an issue though so there's something to be proud of!

I don't consider myself a weight loss blogger. I may from time to time share some things that I've done that helped me be successful but I'm not an expert and don't pretend to be. I do feel that my 60+ lbs weight loss does factor in hugely to who I am today and to some of the messes things I've gotten myself into in the past couple of years.

2. Speaking of subject-matter-specific blogs.... I'm not one of those. Maybe I should be. Maybe in time I will be but as I mentioned (a couple of times now) I'm under construction. I admire the bloggy ladies who are sponspored, and have meet-ups, and do things like attend Blissdom but lets be honest here; in Amber Lane's world and the world of my favorite eye witness Sweet Brown:

I don't do crafts. I don't have a husband. I don't have an adorable child to post pics of all the time. Matter of fact I don't even have a home to show you pictures of decor and/or elaborate parties I'm throwing.
Pinterest makes me feel like a total waste of skin because I don't even kind of have the energy to complete a craft. So this blog is pretty much just a chick, living her life. So if you want to feel super good about your average, every day life - welcome to mine!

3. So what do I do with myself since I'm not a spouse, a mommy, a crafter, Suzy Homemaker or Rockstar Oh wait ... that's right ... I AM a rockstar!

Tiny pic but this is me singing at a benefit back in February

At least by night. By day I once was an Activity Director in a Senior Living Community and I was awesome at said career. Then life happened and I was sent on my way. I spent about 6 months as a sales associate in a boutique before I found my current position as a slave to a headset in a tiny little cubby at a local entertainment venue. Read: this is temporary. So that part of my life is really boring. My rockstar life is far more interesting. I am a singer in an acoustic duo with the before mentioned Rockstar/pseudo boyfriend. He rocks the guitar and background vocals and I am your front woman. Right now we are exclusively covers and nothing is off limits: Pink, Katy Perry, The Beatles, All American Rejects, Rihanna, Jewel, Deanna Carter, Blue October, Ingrid Michaelson, Pistol Annies - just to name a few. We've been jamming together since November and have in the last couple of months really picked up momentum. We started with 2 gigs in December. To having a weekly gig every Wednesday night and now every other Sunday plus other weekend night shows here and there. We have 9 gigs booked so far for May! Not only is it a blast but it also helps to pad my finances! Plus its something to I get to do with someone I really enjoy.

4. Yeah about that guy.... I think he's awesome. I respect him immensely, have over-the-top feelings for him and am pretty much throwing my heart at him. Unfortunately, Amber Lane is not without her demons and has not been the perfect girlfriend at all times. That's all that needs to be said about that. We're taking it slow now, seeing if we can overcome the hurdles that I threw up along the track. Whether we do or not, I consider him my best friend and have absolutely nothing but love for him.

5. I live like a gypsy. I mentioned before I don't have a home to decorate. With the loss of my job came the loss of my home (thank God it was a rental) so I packed up my big things and moved them into storage and took my everyday things to my big sister's where I have a room - that I never sleep in. I'm sure it irks their nerves to no end but I never stay there. I'm closing in on 30 and while they have never placed limitations on me as far as what I can and can't do - I have never warmed to checking in if I'm not coming home, or being all bymyself by 9:30 at night when everyone else either goes to sleep my (40 something year old sis and bro-in-law) or retires to their own room for video games (my 18 year-old-nephew). Sometimes its a little disheartening to not have a place that's all mine- especially after I have lived on my own since I was 20 and even in my room at their house I have to share space with the biggest, most space consuming desk that ever existed in the history of man kind, but for the most part I make it work. I mostly stay with the Rockstar or friends and I of course can always go "home". At least I'm able to begin saving to have my own place again sometime in the (hopefully) not so distant future.

6. As for the things my blogger profile says. Well for the most part they're all still true. I'm not a completely different person. I'm still as girly, girl as they come ( shoes, lotions, potions, and clothes all still catch my attention) and haven't lost my mascara-without-mirror application skills...but I truthfully can't even imagine putting the energy and effort into some of the things that were once so important to me like making sure I caught the latest episode of every god-forsaken-popular TV show known to man. I can no longer tell you a single show that I tune in for weekly. I do consistantly watch the most recent epidoses of Grey's on demand but never at the actual air time. I spend a lot of time playing gigs or practicing and hanging with the Rockstar and his family. At this point in life my relationships with the awesome people in my life are far more important than almost anything else.

7. What do I want from my future now? A life with purpose and direction and love. Maybe I'll never be someone's wife again - but I do want lasting love. Maybe I'll never be a mother- but that doesn't mean I can't have meaningful relationships with the children who come into my life through others.Or maybe someday I'll have both. Right now I'm just rebuilding - and the greatest thing about that is that I'm the designer, the architect and the builder and I can create whatever I want for my future. Its exciting.

And scary.

But I've got my game face on so I'm ready to go!

Shew! After all of that- maybe no one will even stop by from the 20-something link up but another chapter in my story has been written through this post none-the-less.
Hope you all have a lovely weekend! I We have a show tomorrow night and I work a later shift on Sunday.
So essentially work all weekend - so worth it though!

Much Love Always!

Amber Lane

1 comment:

Jamie Danielle said...

Interesting last couple months for you!!!
Again I'm happy to see you back blogging :)