Monday, September 26, 2011

Oh Honey, Just Let Your Heart Ache

It is no mystery to blogger that my last several posts have been filled with uncertainty and heartache - even if they have been quite vague. I've clued my readers (those of you who are left) into the fact that some things are just going on in my life - and while I still won't divulge all the intimate details of my "unsteady" life - I am now to a point where I can share a bit more.

Things with Ben and I are not good. So not good that we are not going to be living in the same house for awhile -or maybe ever.

I never thought 1.3 months into my marriage to a man that I've known for 16 years - I would be saying those words but here I am .

 There are so many facets to this story- I wish I could tell you - this is the reason *** tada! But I can't.

There are major trust issues, respect issues, financial responsibility issues, compatibility issues -issues abound.

Plus I can't get past the feeling that we got married because that was what was "next" for us.We had been together so long, we didn't want to not be together, we didn't know what else to do so we got married....maybe I'm blinded by all that is going on right now but I just can't shake that feeling.

I am sad. I am troubled. Yet at the same time...I'm relieved that all the issues are out on the table and that perhaps we are coming to a turning point in it all.

I know this is still not much information - but perhaps now you can see why I've been AWOL - a lot going on in my mind and in my life. I never disappear for too long - know that I'm still here - its just when I can't scream from the rooftops everything I want to say - I tend to go silent.

Say a prayer, send a wish, think of me. I think I'm in for a bumpy ride.


Amber @ A Little Pink in the Cornfields said...

Praying for you, Amber!! Just know you're very missed and that there are people that care! **HUGS**

Aishlea and Brandon said...

Praying for you.... I've been MIA commenting and reading people's blogs for several months. I hate to hear this and am thinking of you....

Traci said...

I don't often comment but I've been a reader/follower for awhile & I just hate to hear this. Although, it's probably better to figure everything out now than to put another 16 years into something that you really may not want. Sending lots of thoughts & prayers your way.

Ali said...

I am so sorry! I hope you guys get it all worked out. I am sure it is hard now but at least you are figuring it out now. Good Luck with everything!!!

There's No Place Like Memphis Mama said...

I really hope things work out for you. Still reading after all this time! Miss your posts but I totally understand.

Jamie Danielle said...

Praying for you guys.
Everything will work out how God sees fit, so hang in there ((hugs))

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

I'm wishing you the best no matter what the outcome may be. Sometimes you just have to take a step back to move forward.