It is no mystery to blogger that my last several posts have been filled with uncertainty and heartache - even if they have been quite vague. I've clued my readers (those of you who are left) into the fact that some things are just going on in my life - and while I still won't divulge all the intimate details of my "unsteady" life - I am now to a point where I can share a bit more.
Things with Ben and I are not good. So not good that we are not going to be living in the same house for awhile -or maybe ever.
I never thought 1.3 months into my marriage to a man that I've known for 16 years - I would be saying those words but here I am .
There are so many facets to this story- I wish I could tell you - this is the reason *** tada! But I can't.
There are major trust issues, respect issues, financial responsibility issues, compatibility issues -issues abound.
Plus I can't get past the feeling that we got married because that was what was "next" for us.We had been together so long, we didn't want to not be together, we didn't know what else to do so we got married....maybe I'm blinded by all that is going on right now but I just can't shake that feeling.
I am sad. I am troubled. Yet at the same time...I'm relieved that all the issues are out on the table and that perhaps we are coming to a turning point in it all.
I know this is still not much information - but perhaps now you can see why I've been AWOL - a lot going on in my mind and in my life. I never disappear for too long - know that I'm still here - its just when I can't scream from the rooftops everything I want to say - I tend to go silent.
Say a prayer, send a wish, think of me. I think I'm in for a bumpy ride.
Caves and Retreats
4 hours ago