Ok here is what you need to know:
1. We want to go to Jamaica and as close to the airport (aka no two hour long drives through country) as possible
2. We don't want to sleep in a smelly, musty, room, or have to worry about creepy crawlies but otherwise we aren't too particular
3. We have a teeny budget and no credit cards - just bank accounts that ebb and flow depending on the time of the month
4. Actually scratch #1 we feel as though we would like Jamaica but would be pretty much content anywhere with a chill out vibe, sand, sun, and no pressure to be adventurous. We want to shop, swim, sex, and maybe have a dolphin encounter - I'm open to suggestions!
That's it - simple right? Wrong. I can't seem to locate anything under $5,000 and I know it must exist. Married ladies and seasoned travelers...what am I doing wrong and how do I fix it?