Wedding Planning Hell

So this is how wedding planning is going so far:

-Can't find venues that fit our budget and our champagne taste: We refuse  A: a wedding without a kick ass dj and plenty of room to dance B: alcohol C: a place to have the ceremony and reception at one place but not in the same room

I'm super irritated because Ben thinks we should be able to swing the whole wedding for the price I think we can swing the reception. He of course it wrong. 

-Can't fit in the fucking dress I want- I've never pretended to be a skinny girl: I wear between a 10-12 in pants which I consider middle of the road- not thin by any means, not obese- I wear between a 14-16 blouse because I have a 36 DD bust- which in wedding dress size means I wear... a FUCKING 20 ...yep a 20 gals and guys....that alone doesn't bother me- I know my boobs are a major factor here and they size gauge....what pisses me off is the dress that I tried on in a 14 (and was clothes pinned to me as it wouldn't close) and LOVED only goes to a 16....and the bitch at the place didn't bother to fucking tell me that....so I got all happy and giddy and thinking about going ahead and buying it because its in my price range and do a little more research once I get home and discover this little fucking gem about the sizing. 

Can I lose weight? Sure. Who's to say I would lose it in my boobs though even if I wanted to. The fact of the matter is- I'm comfortable the size I am- and I don't fucking think I should have to lose weight for gd dress- its so cliche and I am soooooo irritated. 

What else...

- Oh, yeah...Ben has no opinions about anything- what-so-ever, won't pick his last groomsman, or a best man , seems to think that I know all the answers to everything, and the best part? He thinks his mom can do any and everything so that we don't have to pay for it: Wedding Cake? Mommy will make it! Invitations? Mommy can make them! Bikini wax? Mommy can do that too! Ok I'm fudging on the last one- but serious about the others. Hell, maybe she can but I'm of the school of thought that we should throw some money at the issues and be done with it.

I'm so serious- we were talking about the budget yesterday and Ben named off the price and the things he thought we could get for that price to have our dream wedding. At the end of his budget list this is what we didn't have for our wedding:

-wedding dress

-tux

-attendants gifts

-parents gifts

-marriage liscence 

-officiant 

-PHOTOGRAPHER (fucking photographer)

-wedding bands

- flowers

-hair and makeup for me

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?

I know that its the oldest known fact in the book that grooms are clueless when it comes to wedding planning but I guess I expected more from him.

Maybe I'm being a bridezilla but I feel like from the very beginning NOTHING has gone well since we got engaged and to make matters worse I feel so alone in the planning process. Ben doesn't know anything and only half listens to me when I talk, my mom continually reminds me that she hasn't been mother of the bride in almost 20 years and doesn't know what to do, I think Ben's parents feel like their over-stepping their boundaries to give in-put, and only two of my bridesmaids live within a half an hour of me and one of them is planning her own wedding that's approaching much faster than mine. I feel like just throwing the towel in.

Everybody keeps telling me I should get exactly what I want...yet no one has told me how in the hell I'm supposed to get it- without the perfect amount of money, the perfect body, and the perfect support system.

In an un-perfect world, in an unperfect economy- how do you consturct your perfect wedding?

Pop in, pop out

Still alive. Just pushing through. This weekend was nice. Friday night Ben and I went to hear our friend's Irish Pub band play at our favorite hole in the wall- The Back Door. It was tons of fun if for no other reason than these guys were there:


From left to right: Will, Elliot, and Lauren.

Oh and these guys were there too:

The BF Megan and her fiancee Kenny (yes he has a temp. tatt. on his forehead...that's what alcohol does to people my friends).

After the events of Friday night we slept in on Saturday and loafed around until afternoon sometime. I then met ma mere for a movie (Slumdog Millionaire finally...and loved it) then Ben and I went to dinner and rented a handful of movies and called it a night on the couch.

Today we had brunch at the Grand Finale with the future in-laws and discussed some wedding plans. We are finally going to look at venues this week and hopefully start this ball rolling...I mean its only like we have 15 months to do this in- I'm not worried. We then shopped around for awhile and I bought some CUTE accessories for St. Patty's which I am SUPER excited about this yea! Probably because I planned ahead and decided this would be the week I take some vacation time and will be off Tues,Wed,Thurs, Fri -four blissful days off in a row! Thank God!

Unfortunately however, I do have to go to work tomorrow and it is almost midnight so I better run.

Goodnight!

Miss Amber Lane

Tonight I'm Feeling: Rested, Happy, Anxious (Ben is out hearing his friend's band play and I'm going to bed sans fiancee for the first time in...years.....creepy)

Just Before Sweet Dreams

Today was a decidedly good day.

It was one of those work days where I felt successful and accomplished.

Today For Work I :
-Trained a new volunteer
-Prepared and led a successful craft
-Sent Monte Carlo Night Invitations to the publisher
-Lunched with a volunteer, my assistant, and a nun at Skyline
-(Finally) had prints made of months worth of digital photos and began archiving them
-Had great conversations and interactions with my residents
-Kept a level head when we were told that no managers will be receiving bonus checks this year due to financial cut-backs and that all managers are being reduced to a 2% raise across the board and will not be receiving it until at least June (instead of this pay period).
- Attended a dinner meeting after work and ate yummy grilled tuna and drank a dirty martini amongst co-workers

After dinner I came home to an empty house and a dining room table covered in roses. Bennyboo went to the grocery today and out of his pure love and devotion for me he picked up a dozen roses in red and a dozen roses in a delicious peachy-pink color- just cuz'. Isn't that lovely?
He also vacuumed, mopped, washed dishes, and cleaned out the fridge. I could certainly get used to this "house fiance'" thing if he keeps it up!

Ben arrived home shortly after picking up dinner for himself at a local eatery. He dined while we watched jeopardy together and I flipped through the March Playboy. I then watched some DVRd shows and arranged my flowers into vases while Ben "threw dots" in WOW (if anyone else has a sig. other who is a gamer..you know what I'm talking about!)

Well I came up here twenty minutes ago to hit the hay early and I seem to be right in line with my regular 11pm bedtime.

Tomorow is sure to be a long day. First of all the weather is set to drop 25+ degrees from today so that should cause a wonderful sinus jubilee- that aside though I have no time to slow down. Flower arranging club begins promptly at 9am which means I need to be there no later than 8:30 to set up. At 9:30 or so we are scheduled to depart for a flower show at our local conservatory which will take up the morning into the early afternoon, then I have to get people off to mass, down for social and be on my way out the door for a MUCH needed hair appointment! And its my assistant's off day so its going to be a busy one!

Good news though- I'm off Saturday and Sunday of course, then I'm working Monday and then taking Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday as vacation days - then because I'm MOD this weekend I'm off Friday so its almost like a full week's (minus the Monday blip) vacation with only three days used! It will be blissful and relaxing (well with the exception of St. Patty's Day when I planned to get blitzed on green gin and tonics) and I just can't wait! In that time Bennyboo and I plan to have meetings with potential wedding venues- then- let the planning begin!

Ok I've been putting the beddy by off...here I go! Nighty night!

Miss Amber Lane

Tonight I'm Feeling: accomplished, fulfilled, excited

On the Up Swing

Le Sigh.

(That's a sigh of relief)

I am FINALLY starting to feel better. The pressure in my head is gone, the congestion in my chest is loosening its hold on me and I've spent to the morning vertical- a pleasant change from yesterday when I spent the entire day on the couch alternating between watching movies and lying idle with one of those rice-filled, microwavable heating pouches over my throbbing face.

Well, except for when Bennyboo petulantly demanded I get up and go with him to get dinner because he was sick of being at home. We ate at Skyline (Cincinnati chili for those who don't know!) and then came back home for more couch laying before I swallowed my sleeping serum- AKA Nyquil and passed out cold. I'm for serious- falling asleep when taking Nyquil isn't like falling asleep its like turning to butter and melting into the bed. Last night was my last Nyquil night though- as I have every intention of going to work tomorrow and unfortunately it zombifies me the next day if I don't get to sleep until I naturally wake up.

So hopefully I will continue to get better until I am back to normal. Also hopefully this is the only time I suffer from this, this spring. Unfortunately spring is when I suffer from sickness the most which sucks because spring is perfectly lovely otherwise.

Today we are going to my sister's house to celebrate both nephews birthdays... being cousins born (2 years and) a month apart means having to share your birthday apparantly sucks for them. Hopefully my "well-ness" lasts through the entirety of the gathering.

Well Ben wants to hit Target before we go so I must run!

Tata For Now!

Miss Amber Lane

Today I'm Feeling: Improving, Run Down, Relaxed

I

Am

So

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick!

You all know it started a few days ago--- well I did in fact get Mucinex which did work to clean up my congestion but just when I thought I was starting to have the thing licked it creeped back up on me last night. My face hurt, my eyes hurt, my nose was running, I was sneezing like crazy- ugh!

The Bennyboo ran to the store for some Nyquil and I floated off to dream land on a puffy white medicine cloud but woke up this morning 100 times worse!

And even worse- I'm stuck at work until AT LEAST 3pm when all I really want to do is lay my ten ton head down and sleep this thing off.

Death! Death to Ohio weather, and colds, and working with people who make you sick!

DEATH!

Miss Amber Lane

Today I'm Feeling: Sniffly, Sneezy, Headachy, Groggy, Gross... SICK

Sicky

Well these constant changes in weather have finally caught up with me.

What started as a little throat yuckiness has morphed into full blown congestion and a chest so filled with crap I can hardly stand it. The shit thing is that for the most part its still a very dry cough that I have and all the crap that I know is in there just sits like a rock. I can't stand it!

At the very least though- I'm not running a fever and any aches and pains I have are minor- the fatigue on the other hand- blows.

It should be interesting how this little monster plays out though. This past weekend it was just over 3o degrees- this coming Saturday say hello to 6o degree weather....I'm in for a ride.

Ah Southern Ohio...you're a delight.

I'm off to work- stuffy chest and all.

Loooooove!

Miss Amber Lane

Awards and Hard Candy

Sarcastically Optimistic is having a free-for-all with the awards that she's been given so I have taken it upon myself to award.....erm....myself! (Yay Me!) I mean I'm not a total cow- she did say they were for any and everyone...so without further ado. My awards:

To accept this award I must list 5 sexy things about myself- which of course I can do in a snap (wink- wink).

1. I can kick anyone's ass at Dr. Mario...yep that's right old school Nintendo style- if you don't think that's sexy ask my Bennyboo who LOVES to brag to his friends that I have mad gaming skills.
2. I'm not afraid to be who I am and ask forgiveness from no one (except God sometimes of course for my many indiscretions ( : )
3. I'm accomplished, successful, and independent yet have no problems asking for help or for the expertise of others...baby can't be good at everything
4. I mean I suppose I have to mention some physical attributes as well amongst my best I would have to say: eyes, hair, skin (lately I've been told I have a great complexion ...mostly from my lovely senior ladies at work) and of course....boobies.
5. I'm open about sex and have an adventurous, realistic view on the matter- I also don't take any of it too seriously- I have no problems appreciating other women's sex appeal and appreciating that we're all allowed to have our fetishes and none of them (well mostly none) make any of us freaks- I'm a bit of a Samantha minus the infidelity.

---

Now before you consider me too vain I present myself the second award:



To have this honor bestowed upon me I most list 10 things that are NOT so cute about me:
Here Goes:

1. My car- as organized and clean as I am in my regular life I can not say the same of my car. I spend about an hour and a half in my car a day just in travel to and from work- I eat, drink, live, breathe inside that car and I've got the crumbs and litter to prove it...yucky.
2. I throw tantrums- sometimes I throw things and say things just to get people mad at me and by people I mean my mom and Ben...the two I love most in life and unfortunately they suffer my wrath like none other.
3. You can take this as you will: I frequently don't wash my hands in public bathrooms.... I think they are so dirty so I always carry hand sanitizer in my purse and use that instead I always wonder what other ladies think of me when I walk out without touching the sink- I promise- I sanitize but the perception that I don't---not cute.
4. I reuse disposable water bottles way longer than those in the know say you should
5. I have a big brown mole on the back of neck- Ben says its not cute...maybe its cancer
6. I fight cat hair on my clothes by carrying a lint roller in my purse- doesn't work- cat hair wins
7. Sometimes I drool in my sleep
8. I can be the slightest bit vain at times but not in a snotty way- I'm just particular about how I present myself to the world- I think sometimes my more casual dressing, not so makeup-ified friends get annoyed with that
9. The bottoms of my feet- SO not cute- even pedicures don't help
10. My chin- I hate it- I've been told its distinguishing...I think its just big

Tada!

I only have 8 "declared" followers so I tag all of you who are "followers" of Miss Amber Lane.

This Means:

Ms. Angel
Kell
Liana
Katy
Patronus Incognitus
Shasta
Ellegant
Shawtee

If you are reading but are not following...quit lurking and jump on the bandwagon! I'm really quite nice and I need the ego boost to push me along on this journey!

In other news work today was a beast but at least it went by quickly- tomorrow should be a hairy scary day I'm just going to grin a bare it- maybe more on that depending on how it goes.
Oh and did I mention I got a raise last week? Yup a whopping 3%. Oh well...its money!

After work I met Ben at home and we headed to Target for neccessities: Pine Sol, Kitty food, ink cartridge, bunny ears headband, you know the usual.

The dinner at IHop.

I needed a desk container for file folders so I popped into TJ max where I did find a hot pink faux python container just the right size for files. I also stumbled upon a huge selection of Hard Candy makeup. While I usually don't seek out Hard Candy fo my makeup; finding eye shadow quads for $4.00 is reason enough to buy one in every color family:

Old Skool

Pixie

(Not pictures: Sonic)

I also snagged this teeny compact with eyeshadows, glosses, concealer, blush, mascara, and mini eyeliner perfect for carrying in my purse for makeup emergencies.

The colors are in actuality much better than this picture shows.

Then we came home- I applied my tooth whitening trays and began blogging away. Now I'm off to watch at least one DVR'd show before nighty night time. I'm pooped. Is it Friday yet?

Goodnight!

Miss Amber Lane

Tonight I'm Feeling: Sleepy, Sore Throat-y, Content