Maybe we should break up.
I lost a follower today - or sometime recently - I don't log- on everyday anymore. It seems I used to have lots to write about- but anymore it seems life is life- I'm living it- its good mostly - and nothing is THAT exciting. Not only that but I used to LOVE to log on and see everyone's wedding.baby, home decor posts and anymore its getting exhausting trying to keep up. But its not you...its me..
On top of all that- I get a little irritated that I can write about frivolous BS and everyone wants to comment on it but when I write serious posts- there are literally crickets and cob webs.
Maybe we aren't breaking up but lets at least call it like it is....
We're on a break blogger - its best for both of us.
So for now....
Monday, April 25, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
The Friendship/ Marriage Conundrum
This post has the potential to be really profound - or to be a random spewing of all my recent frustrations.
What my best hope is that it will at the very least fall somewhere in the middle and allow me to make a point while still getting my thoughts out and venting some frustration.
Here goes nothing.
I am the type of girl who prefers a small group of close friends to a large group of mediocre friends. I didn't think that I was that way until recently- probably around the time of my bridal showers. When I looked around and realized- the crowd wasn't huge but the people who were there were people who all had profound meaning in my life.
Around that time I also realized that I wanted to "let go" of the other friends.
You know the ones; the ones that text you last minute as an after thought to join this or that. The ones who may or may not show up for your birthday party. The ones that you enjoy when your around but realize you have nothing to talk about one-on-one.
I'm not saying I de-friended those people on Facebook or took their numbers out of my phone- I just decided it was more effort to try to keep them around on a regular basis than to just let them fall away- and apparently that was mutual b/c they haven't been blowing my phone up either. I decided it was better this way - to focus on my close friends.
I realized this past weekend that I am also the type of person that gets REALLY close to one person for a span of time over all the others. More often than not- this person is experiencing the same life things that I am.
-Early in college it was Julie. Newly single (as was I) ready to party. That lasted about 6 months before she started seriously dating someone and gradually put me on the back burner rarely to text, call, or anything. Then she got pregnant and has only recently attempted to reconnect somewhat (the baby is on her way to 3 years old)
-Then it was Rachel we were together non stop for one summer then she went back to Columbus to school and she never really came back home to stay.Now she's in Louisiana.
-Mid way through college it was Jessica. Also a theater major, in some of the same classes, liked to drink and was always up for an adventure. Then we graduated and Jessica moved away to Arizona for grad school. Then California.
-Megan has always been a constant we were most recently the closest during her wedding planning days- but after the big day she became a home body, got pregnant relatively quickly, is now basking in the joys of new motherhood.
- Most recently its been Emily. Both love to travel, interested in fashion and fitness/healthy lifestyles but like the other stories...you can guess how this turns out- she experiences some major life change and suddenly I hit back burner or fall off the face of the planet in her world period.
We had a huge fight this weekend about why dating someone new means never contacting your best friend at all - anymore - ever. Wine was involved so its sort of blurry. But my interpretation of her response was; "You're married you have a life, I need to create a life for myself / life isn't like Sex & The City Amber - some friends only see each other once a year."
I have a lot of snarky comments to those things but I'm not going to get into that now.
Upon reflection my thoughts at first were this: why is it that my life has progressed- I graduated college, got a great job, got married -but still have not ever found a reason or WANT to leave my friends behind- not in the physical sense but in the emotional sense. Why is it that my friendship is so unimportant to these people that I am so easy to "forget" about?
After some further reflections though my thoughts became a bit darker: why is it exactly that my focus HASN'T changed? As a new(ish) married woman why DON'T I want to spend every free moment with my husband? Why would I rather plan trips with my girlfriends than my husband? Why am I NOT thinking of a baby? Why am I NOT planning date nights with Ben instead of wine nights with friends?
Am I REALLY good at friendship and REALLY bad at marriage?
I consider Ben to be my best friend yet find that we have very little in common when it comes to activities. I like to be outside and active. He likes computers. I like to shop. He hates it. I love the beach. He hates the sand and the smell (what smell?!?!). I do consider us to be compatible we have similar values and views of the world but when it comes to spending time together we prefer to do different things.
Is that bad?
I feel confident enough in my marriage to leave it for a night with friends or a trip to Miami with the girls. I think that's healthy. What I'm concerned about now though is what do I do now that all my friends are involved in their life changes and I'm still here wanting to have with them what we've always had?
If you don't enjoy the same activities as your spouse and aren't ready for a baby and aren't planning to move or change careers anytime soon- what do you do next?
Mrs. Amber Lane
What my best hope is that it will at the very least fall somewhere in the middle and allow me to make a point while still getting my thoughts out and venting some frustration.
Here goes nothing.
I am the type of girl who prefers a small group of close friends to a large group of mediocre friends. I didn't think that I was that way until recently- probably around the time of my bridal showers. When I looked around and realized- the crowd wasn't huge but the people who were there were people who all had profound meaning in my life.
Around that time I also realized that I wanted to "let go" of the other friends.
You know the ones; the ones that text you last minute as an after thought to join this or that. The ones who may or may not show up for your birthday party. The ones that you enjoy when your around but realize you have nothing to talk about one-on-one.
I'm not saying I de-friended those people on Facebook or took their numbers out of my phone- I just decided it was more effort to try to keep them around on a regular basis than to just let them fall away- and apparently that was mutual b/c they haven't been blowing my phone up either. I decided it was better this way - to focus on my close friends.
I realized this past weekend that I am also the type of person that gets REALLY close to one person for a span of time over all the others. More often than not- this person is experiencing the same life things that I am.
-Early in college it was Julie. Newly single (as was I) ready to party. That lasted about 6 months before she started seriously dating someone and gradually put me on the back burner rarely to text, call, or anything. Then she got pregnant and has only recently attempted to reconnect somewhat (the baby is on her way to 3 years old)
-Then it was Rachel we were together non stop for one summer then she went back to Columbus to school and she never really came back home to stay.Now she's in Louisiana.
-Mid way through college it was Jessica. Also a theater major, in some of the same classes, liked to drink and was always up for an adventure. Then we graduated and Jessica moved away to Arizona for grad school. Then California.
-Megan has always been a constant we were most recently the closest during her wedding planning days- but after the big day she became a home body, got pregnant relatively quickly, is now basking in the joys of new motherhood.
- Most recently its been Emily. Both love to travel, interested in fashion and fitness/healthy lifestyles but like the other stories...you can guess how this turns out- she experiences some major life change and suddenly I hit back burner or fall off the face of the planet in her world period.
We had a huge fight this weekend about why dating someone new means never contacting your best friend at all - anymore - ever. Wine was involved so its sort of blurry. But my interpretation of her response was; "You're married you have a life, I need to create a life for myself / life isn't like Sex & The City Amber - some friends only see each other once a year."
I have a lot of snarky comments to those things but I'm not going to get into that now.
Upon reflection my thoughts at first were this: why is it that my life has progressed- I graduated college, got a great job, got married -but still have not ever found a reason or WANT to leave my friends behind- not in the physical sense but in the emotional sense. Why is it that my friendship is so unimportant to these people that I am so easy to "forget" about?
After some further reflections though my thoughts became a bit darker: why is it exactly that my focus HASN'T changed? As a new(ish) married woman why DON'T I want to spend every free moment with my husband? Why would I rather plan trips with my girlfriends than my husband? Why am I NOT thinking of a baby? Why am I NOT planning date nights with Ben instead of wine nights with friends?
Am I REALLY good at friendship and REALLY bad at marriage?
I consider Ben to be my best friend yet find that we have very little in common when it comes to activities. I like to be outside and active. He likes computers. I like to shop. He hates it. I love the beach. He hates the sand and the smell (what smell?!?!). I do consider us to be compatible we have similar values and views of the world but when it comes to spending time together we prefer to do different things.
Is that bad?
I feel confident enough in my marriage to leave it for a night with friends or a trip to Miami with the girls. I think that's healthy. What I'm concerned about now though is what do I do now that all my friends are involved in their life changes and I'm still here wanting to have with them what we've always had?
If you don't enjoy the same activities as your spouse and aren't ready for a baby and aren't planning to move or change careers anytime soon- what do you do next?
Mrs. Amber Lane
Monday, April 4, 2011
NSV
I know I don't update my weight loss goals on this blog with much regularity but if I did you would know that I've essentially been at a plateau since November. I maintained through the holidays which is FANTASTIC but now that we are well out of the holidays and moving towards summer I am really looking to blast through the last 10lbs - which seem to be the absolute hardest.
Along those same lines recently at work in the lunch room co-workers have said that they've never seen anyone eat as healthy as I do- who would have thought? Me? Eat healthy?!?! I used to be the drive-thru queen!
Third: I'm in so much better shape than I was. I never 'thought' that I was out of shape. I knew I was heavier than I should be but I was seriously one who never really saw it or thought that my extra lbs hindered me. When I was leaving the grocery store today the skies had opened up and the rain was pouring down. I surveyed the scene, decided it was warm enough, slipped off my shoes and sprinted to my car in the back of the lot. When I got there I wasn't winded, didn't feel my legs burn at all - didn't feel any different than I would have had I just walked- matter of fact I felt invigorated and ready to keep moving! So different than the old me!
Today was my second weigh in since officially joining weight watchers.
At the start I weighed 142.8
Week 2 I weighed 145.8
Week 3 (Today) I weighed 143.4
You can see why I am frustrated. These numbers are so close together that any number of factors can be swaying the weigh in- too much salt, didn't go #2, PMSing (Last week) Starting (Yesterday) (Sorry for the TMI P.S.)
I won't be happy with my "number" until I weigh in less than my starting weight (duh) but today while out and about grocery shopping and looking for a dress for a friend's up-coming wedding I realized that I have a number of Non-Scale Victories that I can be proud of.
First of all - shopping is so much more fun!
When I started my weight loss journey back in February of 2010 I was in a size 14 dress, 12-14 pant, 16/ XL blouse. Today I was in a size 6 dress, 4-6 pant, 10/M blouse.
I was really into the dresses today b/c there are some darn cute ones out there right now!
Don't mind the goofy faces I was making in these pictures.
 |
| Front runner for the wedding (Ny&Co) |
 |
| Work Dress (Target) |
 |
| Just running around on a warm spring day dress- needs a belt imo (target) |
 |
| Another Warm Spring Day Dress (target) |
 |
| Very Cute dress from NY&Co Maybe work? |
Second: Trips to the grocery store have become mini adventures!
I love planning to grocery shop now. Looking up recipes and using Recipe Builder to make them even healthier. One thing I've loved since I officially joined is plugging in recipes I was previously using and really seeing how healthy (or sometimes not healthy) they really are. One thing I've discovered is that I'm already using power foods that are naturally good for you in abundance so that's great!
 |
| Some of the staples: Apples,salad mix, strawberries, bananas, Greek yogurt, eggs |
 |
| Tuna in water, pineapple, beans, ffree soups, ffree chicken broth |
Third: I'm in so much better shape than I was. I never 'thought' that I was out of shape. I knew I was heavier than I should be but I was seriously one who never really saw it or thought that my extra lbs hindered me. When I was leaving the grocery store today the skies had opened up and the rain was pouring down. I surveyed the scene, decided it was warm enough, slipped off my shoes and sprinted to my car in the back of the lot. When I got there I wasn't winded, didn't feel my legs burn at all - didn't feel any different than I would have had I just walked- matter of fact I felt invigorated and ready to keep moving! So different than the old me!
Fourth: My journey has made me a planner and organizer on an entirely different level. In my fridge right now are containers of pre-chopped fruits and vegetables, pre-made tuna salad, black beans and rice, and super salads. I can tell you what I'm going to eat for each meal, each day thru Friday and there's a certain amount of power and control in that and I love it. I love it for me and I love it for Ben because its helping him get healthier too!
So though the numbers on the scale are basically at a stand-still life is still good- I am still successful and that's a damn good feeling!
Not to brag or anything (;
Hope everyone had a great weekend and a happy Monday! I worked all weekend and was off today - it was a good day!
Much Love Always!
Mrs. Amber Lane
Mrs. Amber Lane
Friday, April 1, 2011
Shelby Love
Well it happened, Tuesday night my BFF called me to let me know Wednesday morning (her actual due-date) at 6am she was having labor induced!
I couldn't get out of work until about 2:30 but when I did I high-tailed it to the hospital to find the mommy-to-be only 4 cm after HOURS of labor! Luckily she had an epidural and was pretty cozy by the time I got there!
 |
| Megan and our friend Ashley |
At 9pm when Megan still hadn't progressed more than 4cm and had been in labor for 15 hours already they made the tough decision to go cesarean.
 |
| Going to meet Shelby! |
We were all shuffled out to the waiting room to wait for about 45 minutes before Kenny; the proud daddy rushed into the waiting room to confirm what we already knew...
ITS A GIRL!
(she's got her mama's nose and cheeks!)
Shelby Diane
March 30, 2011
March 30, 2011
7.15 lbs, 21 inches long
Mommy and Baby were both great - although we did find out the cord was around Shelby's neck so its a good thing they went C-section before she got too stressed out!
We each got to spend a few moments one on one while they were in recovery but they needed their rest so no one stayed long.
Ben and I went back today and hung out at the hospital for a few hours.
Big Baby Feet!
Hanging with her Auntie Am for the first time
Clearly she was thrilled-look at that yawn!
Not quite a natural but we'll get him there someday!
Showing Little Miss Shelby how to take the one armed angle down pictures and look good-but all she had to do was lie there- the camera loved her!
I just want to squeeze that little face!!!
May not be ready for my own yet, but I'm sure thrilled to meet this little girl! I of course have friends that have children but this girl has been my closest friend since I was 6 years old....more like family than friends really and I'm so excited to watch her take on her new role as a mother and to be a part of Shelby's life as she grows up - I'm just about as proud as I can be!
So this has been my contribution to all the baby posts that have been springing up lately - and until I have my own ( and lets be honest - probably even after) you're going to be seeing a lot more of this little baby face!
Much Love Always!
Miss Amber Lane
Friday, March 25, 2011
Week's End
Hallo Poppets!
Its been a few since I've visited but here I am again (on Friday..imagine that).
This week hasn't really been terribly eventful. Over the weekend I dined at a winery with Emily and had lunch with my fam. for both of my nephew's birthdays.
Then Monday rolled around again as it always seems to do and it was back to business as usual.
Tuesday I finally decided to bite the bullet and formally sign-up for Weight Watchers on-line. I was sick of guessing the new Points Plus plan and decided if I ever want to lose the last 8 lbs that I better hop to. Its been a successful week in my opinion. I've earned activity points everyday with 2 Zumba classes and a nice long walk. I've stayed within my points or earned Activity points everyday and still have a full count of Anytime points to play with over the weekend- which is good because Jen is coming into town and I'm planning to drink a fair amount of those points. I know. I drink too much wine. But I love it!
My weigh in day will be on Saturday even though my points aren't going to roll over until Monday. I like to start my weekend off with the hard truth so I can decide how to approach my Anytime points.
Ok well, I guess that's about all I have for now. I'm hoping how have a positive report after weigh in tomorrow!
For now I leave you with a little questionnaire snagged from Just Jinny @ A Girl in the Real World
Have a great weekend everyone!
Its been a few since I've visited but here I am again (on Friday..imagine that).
This week hasn't really been terribly eventful. Over the weekend I dined at a winery with Emily and had lunch with my fam. for both of my nephew's birthdays.
Then Monday rolled around again as it always seems to do and it was back to business as usual.
Tuesday I finally decided to bite the bullet and formally sign-up for Weight Watchers on-line. I was sick of guessing the new Points Plus plan and decided if I ever want to lose the last 8 lbs that I better hop to. Its been a successful week in my opinion. I've earned activity points everyday with 2 Zumba classes and a nice long walk. I've stayed within my points or earned Activity points everyday and still have a full count of Anytime points to play with over the weekend- which is good because Jen is coming into town and I'm planning to drink a fair amount of those points. I know. I drink too much wine. But I love it!
My weigh in day will be on Saturday even though my points aren't going to roll over until Monday. I like to start my weekend off with the hard truth so I can decide how to approach my Anytime points.
Ok well, I guess that's about all I have for now. I'm hoping how have a positive report after weigh in tomorrow!
For now I leave you with a little questionnaire snagged from Just Jinny @ A Girl in the Real World
Have a great weekend everyone!
A-Age: 26
B-Bed size: Queen, our room couldn't fit anything bigger
C-Chore you hate: Dishes- we don't have a dishwasher - NIGHTMARE!!
D-Dogs: Nada, zilch, zero
E-Essential start to your day: Starbucks Venti Iced Coffee, no classic, 4 splenda, and soy milk!
F-Favorite Color: PINK!
G-Gold or Silver: Silver when it comes to jewelery
H-Height: 5'3
I-Instruments you play: Flute and I sing..I also dappled in the melophone but I sucked at that!
J-Job title: Activity Director and Concierge Supervisor
K-Kids: No, and at the stage in 20 something life where even being around most kids makes me cringe.
L-Live: Suburbia
M-My mom's name: Georgeanna
N-Nickname: Ru-Way, Berlane, Ambie, Boo Box, Am
O-Overnight hospital stay: Nope, not for myself at least
P-Pet Peeve: People who are late and will call you to tell you they are going to be late exactly at the time you are supposed to meet and you are already there and have no choice but to just sit there and wait because you are already there!
Q-Quote from a movie: "Ok so you're probably thinking, is this like some kind of Noxema commercial or what?! But actually I have like a totally normal life for a teenage girl, I mean I get up, brush my teeth, and pick out my school clothes."
R-Right/Lefty: Right
S-Siblings: 2 older sisters
T-Time you wake up: The alarm goes off at 7am but I make no promises on that one!
U-Underwear: Always cute
V-Veggies you dislike: ? I really love vegetables...do water cress nuts count as vegetables
W-What makes you run late: If I can't decide what to wear
X-Xrays you've had: Ankles numerous times
Y-Yummy food you make: = Everything I make turns out yummy
Z-Zoo animals: Monkeys!!
B-Bed size: Queen, our room couldn't fit anything bigger
C-Chore you hate: Dishes- we don't have a dishwasher - NIGHTMARE!!
D-Dogs: Nada, zilch, zero
E-Essential start to your day: Starbucks Venti Iced Coffee, no classic, 4 splenda, and soy milk!
F-Favorite Color: PINK!
G-Gold or Silver: Silver when it comes to jewelery
H-Height: 5'3
I-Instruments you play: Flute and I sing..I also dappled in the melophone but I sucked at that!
J-Job title: Activity Director and Concierge Supervisor
K-Kids: No, and at the stage in 20 something life where even being around most kids makes me cringe.
L-Live: Suburbia
M-My mom's name: Georgeanna
N-Nickname: Ru-Way, Berlane, Ambie, Boo Box, Am
O-Overnight hospital stay: Nope, not for myself at least
P-Pet Peeve: People who are late and will call you to tell you they are going to be late exactly at the time you are supposed to meet and you are already there and have no choice but to just sit there and wait because you are already there!
Q-Quote from a movie: "Ok so you're probably thinking, is this like some kind of Noxema commercial or what?! But actually I have like a totally normal life for a teenage girl, I mean I get up, brush my teeth, and pick out my school clothes."
R-Right/Lefty: Right
S-Siblings: 2 older sisters
T-Time you wake up: The alarm goes off at 7am but I make no promises on that one!
U-Underwear: Always cute
V-Veggies you dislike: ? I really love vegetables...do water cress nuts count as vegetables
W-What makes you run late: If I can't decide what to wear
X-Xrays you've had: Ankles numerous times
Y-Yummy food you make: = Everything I make turns out yummy
Z-Zoo animals: Monkeys!!
Friday, March 18, 2011
St. Patrick's Day Times Three: The Same Outfit A Different Body!
You may recall from this post that last year I did a comparison of my St. Patrick's Day photos from 2009 to 2010 and was really geeked to see that I was beginning to make some weight loss progress at the time. Well its 2011 and once again I donned my hair bows, green top, and shamrock suspenders so I figured it was time for another comparison!
2009
At one time I LOVED this picture (even though I cropped it so my whole body wasn't in)
2010
Starting to see some progress - I had lost about 15 lbs by this point and this was the first comparison I could do with pics of me in the same outfit!
2011
Not at Lifetime goal yet (5-8 yet to go) but 60 lbs gone! I'm a new woman!
And the joy is written all over my face!
In case you wondered Bennyboo rocks the suspenders too!
Me and My Girl
Will thinks its appropriate to wear blue on St. Patty's ..pinch him!
Ok...he did at least come with gold coin dollars...that's pretty bad ass on St. Patrick's Day- no pinches!
Hope your St. Pats were a blast!
Much Love Always!
Mrs Amber Lane
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
